Swank Swag Alert: No Need to be a Freeloading Celebrity…

Score Your Own Swag Bag.

Forget Best Picture, the real Oscar race is behind the scenes between product pushers trying to get their goods into the magic bag o’ star swag. The freebies get as much attention as who’s wearing who. I doubt the selection process is entirely democratic, who deems what worthy? Lash Fary does. AKA “the gift fary,” Lash is the head of Distinctive Assets and he reigns supreme over the content of the Oscar presenters gift basket. Lash and StarStyle let us in on chosen one’s making the cut this year. It ranges from mind-numbingly extravagant (even if they lose out on a statue, nominees are awarded a $27,000 luxury vacay at The Mirage in Vegas) to the mundane.
SheFinds Swag Bag Awards:

Nominated for Best Performance in the Ultra-luxe Category…

A $5,800 gift where someone like Dr. Kerry K. Assil from the Assil Eye Institute shoots laser beams into your eyeballs.

A decent night’s sleep on Andrea Hayhurst’s sky-high thread count sheets. (989.00 for the Academy Awards 720 thread count collection)

$900 worth of semi-precious sterling silver jewelry from Jazzy Rose.

Heartline bracelet created by Jazzy Rose for the 20th Annual Cinemathque Awards honoring Al Pacino (150.00)

For Best Product That We Can Actually Afford…

One year of online movie rentals from Netflix and a portable DVD Player. (400.00)

The iconic, supporting performance of the Wonderbra (29.00 at Bare Neccessities)

A Quad Wheel Carry-On from Atlantic Luggage Co. (Get yours from eBags.com for 179.99)


Honorary Award for Contributions to Fashionable Society…
How very Brokeback, a Marc Jacobs Human Rights Campaign tee 38.00

And finally, the So-Far-Out-it-Belongs-at-the-MTV-Movie-Awards Award…
It’s a three-way tie! In no particular order: (disclaimer: Awarding these products in no way condones post-show, after-party hook-ups.)

The K-Y Touch Massage Oil Gift Set(8.99 on drugstore.com; 65.00 in the Oscar basket)

A supersized tin of sweet kiss making Altoid Mango Sours. (3.49)

A Destiny Card reading valued at $150.00 will tell you whether you just ruined your career by attempting to sleep your way to the top -or if you’ve simply accomplished what so many before you have.

You don’t need to be a swag hag like Paris Hilton to score some top products. We’d like to thank superstar stylist Lash Fary for his insight into the world of high-end gift giving. Find the full freebie list at StarStyle.com where if it’s been touched by a star, they’ll know where to find it.