The Hills’ Heidi Montag Is No Lauren Conrad–She’s Not Even Jessica Simpson

I must admit that I’m not a “Hills” person. Or a “Kardashians” person, or a “Gossip Girl” person, or an anything-in-that-whole-category-of-programming person. But I am a fashion person, so I was intrigued to learn that “The Hills'" Heidi Montag would become that show's second star to launch her own clothing collection (colleague Lauren Conrad's came out last year). Heidiwood, as the line is called, is aimed at teenage customers and debuted this Spring at Blue Anchor stores around the country. The idea to design apparently derives from Montag’s semester studying fashion in Italy during her college semester abroad—as well as (I surmise) her need to compete with Conrad. "Fashion is something that has always been a passion of mine,” Montag has explained. “I really look forward to creating an affordable, fun, and sexy line with Anchor Blue.”

Here are a few (presumably fun and sexy) items from the collection, modeled by none other than Heidi herself:

And here's Montag showing off her designs in person:

Oh, Heidi, you shouldn’t have! No, really—you shouldn’t have. The best thing I can say about Montag’s collection is that it’s fairly priced (between $10-$60). The worst thing I can say is what my popculturista extraordinaire friend commented: “Trash. Trashfest. Boring trashfest.” As you can see, the line features stripes, animal prints, and teeny-tiny shorts, and to be honest I doubt any of you SheFinds readers will want to buy this stuff for your daughter. And yet she’ll probably be dying to don a Montag outfit, so just keep telling yourself: At least that zebra print halter-top and white denim mini-skirt only cost $62. Anything from Lauren Conrad’s line would have (and probably already has) set you back quite a bit more. But at least LC's pieces aren't all made out of lycra blend.