Today I’m Wearing My Breasts On The Outside, Thanks To The Marilyn Sweatshirt

I have to admit something. I've tried writing up this sweatshirt that Trendhunter turned us on to about three different times. Each time, I end up two sentences in, sitting at my computer, mouth slightly ajar, just staring at the image. A normal grey sweatshirt…. with padding attached to the front. And all I can say is, "I am very, very confused."

I don't get it. It doesn't seem like the pads would necessarily even line up correctly with the boobs already affixed to your chest. Could that lead to a quadraboob? Or will it look like your boobs are wearing sunglass-shaped pads? Is this performance art? Did someone design a breast-enhancing sweatshirt but mistakenly sew the padding on the incorrect side and then decide to just run with it? 

It's wrong. Oh so very wrong. And what makes it wronger still?  It costs £190.00….yes…. pounds. (And, in case you were wondering…No, the dollar didn't suddenly gain strength.) So, in an effort to make the world make sense again, I am going to go sew a pair of Spanx on top of my jeans and charge $600 for them. Any buyers?

Presenting the "Marilyn" Sweatshirt by Ashish. Made exclusively for people who want to make it painfully clear that they're bra-stuffers.