This Is What Passes For Flair These Days?

What: Completely Bare with a Flair ($115) bikini wax

According to the website, the salon service will “Embellish your just waxed bikini with the Swarovski crystal design of your choice.” The crystals supposedly stay on for up to 10 days.

Why: Wait wait don’t tell me… because girls love sparkles? Bzzzz! I’m sorry, the correct answer (according to the spa) is because, “Accessorizing your privates is the hottest rage.” Huh? I get the appeal of wanting to be all waxed and smooth down there, so why would you add back crystals that are just going to make things bumpier?

If you’re like me and usually take care of your hair removal needs at home, check out these two DIY bikini products instead. And if you’re even more like me, you’re going to need a product to help with the common DIY problem of razor burn. Try Bikini Zone Medicated Creme ($6.50). Trust me, it works.