It's OK To Get Married With 110 Knot To-Do's Left (And Other Confessions)
Justine Ingersoll Schwartz
May 16, 2012
True story: I had 110 “To-Do’s” left on my Knot check-list when I got married. Don’t get me wrong, I had every intention of executing this hefty list when I signed up for the site, and in the suggested order, mind you — but I just didn’t keep up with it. Planning wasn’t as much of an exact science as I’d hoped — but in the end, it didn’t matter one bit.
If your big day is fast approaching, don’t let a daunting To-Do number — or any of these other bridal presumptions get you down.
To want to elope. The thought will occur to you at least once during the planning process — probably when you’re in the middle of a seating chart crisis. Embrace the urge, then let it pass — you deserve a big wedding with friends & family close by.
To make your bridesmaids pay for their dresses. Although one of my bridesmaids tried to convince me that where she comes from, the bride buys the bridesmaid dresses — there no evidence in any etiquette books I’ve read or researched that buying your b-maid’s dresses is required or expected. It’s a nice gesture, often displayed by older (read: twice-married) brides or brides with a big budget. Don’t feel bad if you don’t fall into either of those categories.
To not care about every little thing. It’s OK (and probably quite healthy) not to obsess about every little detail — or to try and out-do every Style Me Pretty or Pinterest wedding that comes across your desk.
To try to out-do your friend’s weddings. Admit it, you’ve kept a running tally of mistakes and missteps of your girlfriend’s weddings — and have vowed to out-do them all. This competitive nature is normal for brides. Here’s a few tips for making your wedding better than everybody else’s.
To spend five figures on your dress. It’s ok to spend 3 month’s rent on your gown — I don’t have a great reason for this one, other than it’s totally worth it (in pictures, for compliments, when your groom first sees you…). Call me an enabler, but I think it’s OK to throw your budget and caution to the wind when dress shopping. Especially if Vera, Oscar, Reem or Monique are involved.
To not give favors. Your guests are there to party — not to add to their miniature candle collection.
To not throw a bouquet. Or have a garter pulled out from under your dress (ew!). These traditions are old news (and here’s why); make your own new traditions instead.
To suffer from “bride brain.” To only research wedding topics at work. To refer to your fiance as “the groom” only. To pick fights with said groom over the tiniest little thing. To only talk about the wedding with friends. We’ll chalk this up to a case of bride brain — give yourself a pass here.
For more wedding tips, check out the 10 Things To Do As Soon As You Get Engaged, the 10 Things You Should NEVER Do While Wearing Your Engagement Ring and 10 Wedding Myths De-Bunked.