Jennifer Aniston Can Just Let The Media Plan Her Wedding, Because It Already Has

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August 29, 2012

Celebrities: sometimes, they’re not just like us. While other brides slave for months over the most minute wedding details, celebrities can sit back rely on the media to plan their entire wedding for them.

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux haven’t even been engaged for 1 month, and there are already reports of the location, date and theme of their wedding. Reportage on the “wedding of the century” has appeared in Us, E!, Life & Style and even the most reputable gossipmonger People. Unprompted dress sketches have been drawn, guest lists have been made, the details of her pre-nup have even been written. And although these details are presented as fact, they are, in fact, totally bogus.

We get it, Internet, you’re really excited that this beloved Old Maid America’s Sweetheart is finally getting married — but cool your jets, people. It tends not to turn out well when you get too excited for these things (ahem, Kim Kardashian).

We’ve rounded up the best and most outrageous stories about Jenn’s nuptials currently on the web today. But, who knows, by print time they may have her eloping to Bali, while pregnant with Brad’s baby:

1. The Planning Is Off To A Bad Start Jen’s desire for a destination beach wedding is well documented, but Justin would prefer a winter wedding in New York City. Like any couple, they’ll have to meet somewhere in the middle.

There’s No Pre-Nup! Jen trusts Justin with everything — including her reported $150 million net worth. She’s romantic and convinced that her relationship with Justin is the real deal.

It’s On Valentine’s Day! These two are so in love that they’re throwing a wedding in the middle of the week, since Valentine’s Day 2013 falls on a Thursday. [Entertainment Wise]

It Will Be A Destination Wedding! Reports earlier this year had the duo marrying in Greece, but that’s not likely. Cabo San Lucas is known to be one of Jen’s favorite places, and a more likely locale for their wedding. [Us]

It’s Going To Be ‘Intimate’! The Pitt/Aniston nuptuals 12 years ago included 200 guests. This time around, friends say the event will only include people they truly love (like Jenn’s BFF Courtney Cox). Guests can expect a very feminine wedding with lots of blue flowers, Jen’s favorite. [Meta Cafe]

Her Estranged Mom’s Coming! Despite a fallout in 1999 that was so bad it stopped Jen from inviting her mother, Nancy Dow, to her 2000 wedding to Brad Bitt, Mama Aniston is on the guest list for the big day. She can thank Justin for getting Jen to come to her senses. [Meta Cafe]

Brad Called To Congratulate Jen! Always the gentleman, Brad let bygones be bygones and called Jen to congratulate her on her engagement. He even asked if he should keep the date free.

She’s Pregnant! Or, Maybe Not… There was a story floating around — sourced back to Jen’s mother — that Jen and Justin were planning a shotgun wedding. Reps for the actress have denied this. She’s also been looking pretty svelte lately.

She Has Her Pick Of Dresses Designers Jen’s last wedding dress was a full length white silk tulle halter dress studded with tiny pearls designed by Lawrence Steele. Preliminary sketches from the likes of Reem Acra and Claire Pettibone, have included everything from ball gowns to shift dresses. [People]

She’s Got An 8-Carat Ring Albeit no one has seen this ring, reports are that it’s eight carats of emerald cut amazement.

She’ll Get Married At The Same Venue As Her Friends Co-Stars Jen’s last wedding was at a private Malibu mansion. Security is key, so a private estate is an option. She could also take a cue from her other ‘Friends’ co-stars, who have gotten married on vineyards and in churches.

Love celebritiy weddings? Check out Look-alikes of Natalie Portman’s Wedding Dress, Celebrity Wedding Dresses To Copy and Jessica Simpson Plans A Wedding Line.

 

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