Dear Diary,
It’s me, Lindsay. I’m so glad mom finally decided to give you back to me, Rehab is so boring. US Weekly was only offering her a half mil, but I paid her 750 thou to get you back. I’m so lucky to have a mom that cares so much about my well-being. When I unpacked you today this old picture of me fell out.
Diary, this picture showed me that I have hit rock bottom. I looked so pretty back then. My dress had an awesome neckline and
unusual detail in the front, my hair was swept back in a sleek little ponytail, and I just looked so pretty. And so showered.
That got me thinking about my cute little detour into skinny jeans and rock star vintagey t-shirts
, way BEFORE the Olsen twins did it, when it was still TOTALLY COOL and cutting edge.
But ever since that whole underwear fiasco, things have gone downhill.
Yesterday, someone takes a picture of me during “recreation day†from rehab, and thankfully it was before we stopped at the Trader Joe’s wine outlet, but APPARENTLY I look like I raided Joan Collins’s closet for accessories. Rehab is so unreasonable, I obviously need my stylist here to tell me that just because I own a colorful tunic hoody and an adorable print scarf and a great beaded necklace doesn’t mean I should wear all of it at the same time. Oh Diary, how I long to go back to a simpler time, diary, when all I had to worry about was my 13-19 year old demographic and memorizing my lines for The Parent Trap.
TTYL,
Lindsay
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