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10 Places You Should Never Bring Your Kid...

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September 7, 2011

Earlier this summer there was tons of commotion over the rise in “brat bans.” From grocery stores to airlines, it seemed like no one loved the kids.

Like most moms, I was a little annoyed by kids being banned from a grocery store, but it did make me think. Are there places we just shouldn’t bring our kids? The answer, of course, is heck yes.

I am as guilty of this as anyone else. I bring my daughter everywhere. Everywhere. To the hair salon, doctor’s appointments… heck, I even make her stay in the bathroom while I shower. But the truth is there are certain places children just shouldn’t be. Take these, for example…

1. Facebook. I know, I know. Your kid is so cute. Mine is too. But that doesn’t mean your infant or toddler needs his/her own Facebook page. That goes for Twitter, Flickr, Instragam and any of the other social media platforms du jour. Just post the darn pictures on your profile and call it a day.

2. Hair salons. You may think your kid is cute and funny, but that doesn’t mean the other ladies getting their blowouts agree. Most women go to the salon to relax, but you ruin that when you bring your little rugrat along. I know this firsthand because my stylist asks me to leave my daughter at home before every appointment. I know it’s annoying to pay to get your hair done and pay a sitter, but just take one for the team. Please.

3. Bars. I feel like this should go without saying, but apparently some moms in Brooklyn take their children–infants, even!–to bars. Perhaps these really are family-friendly establishments, but as a general rule of thumb I think it’s probably wise to keep your children away from adults who might get wasted.

4. Public bathrooms. I know it’s sometimes unavoidable, but they’re really no place for a child. It might be okay if kids could stand still for five friggin’ seconds, but there’s a good chance the moment you walk in the most disgusting public restroom you’ve ever encountered your child will touch the walls. Or pick something up off the floor. Or volunteer to flush the toilet bare-handed. And then before you can make it the 3 steps to the sink, the little bugger will already be biting his/her nails or rubbing something out of his/her eyes.

5. The Ob-gyn. Again, maybe this should be a given, but let me explain. My gynecologist actually requested that I bring my daughter so she could see her. She did deliver her, after all. But my daughter is 3 now and yeah it’s just not easy to explain what happens during that appointment. Not to mention that toddlers ask a crapload of questions and you really want your doc focusing on the task at hand during that visit.

6. Weddings. Obviously you shouldn’t bring your little one to a wedding that’s explicitly an adults-only affair, but you should probably considering leaving the kids home even if the bride and groom are cool with kids. Why? You won’t have any fun. You’ll spend most of the ceremony shushing your kid and most of the reception getting him/her to eat the cold chicken. So unless you want an excuse to cut out early, book a babysitter.

7. Fancy shoe stores. Remember that scene from Sex and the City? The one where Tatum O’Neal’s character goes to Manolo Blahnik to buy Carrie’s shoes and the saleswoman says something like keep your kid’s grubby hands off the shoes. Yeah, I agree. If you can’t afford to pay for whatever your kid might break or damage, just don’t even go there.

8. Protests/Demonstrations. Unless your cause directly relates to children and you need your kids there to prove a point, keep the youngins out of it. Though they’ll probably get a kick out of chanting, your kids will likely have no idea what the heck everyone is screaming about. Plus, there’s nothing sadder than seeing a red-cheeked toddler sitting on some curb holding a sign for free commuter parking or lower city taxes.

9. The Strip Club. Horrified that this one is even on the list? Me too. But after seeing this video, I feel the need to remind some moms that it’s simply not cool to bring your kid to a strip club. Or to bring the strip club home to your kid.

10. Reality TV. If you want to be on a reality television show, more power to you. But don’t subject your kids to the scrutiny of being on TV. Growing up is hard enough without television cameras documenting your every move. The sad truth is that whatever money you make from the reality show you’ll probably have to spend on therapy for putting your kid on the show in the first place.

What about you? Are there places you just would never bring your kid? Share in the comments.

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Click here to email Jeanine, the author of this post.

 



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