Let me start this by saying being a single mom isn’t ideal. It’s hard. Gut-wrenchingly hard at times. On top of the sadness of knowing your child won’t grow up in a “traditional” family, it sucks that there isn’t always someone around to offer physical, emotional and let’s face it, financial, support.
But as hard as being a single mom is, it’s not always the pits either. I have a blast with my daughter and we get to do a ton of things I probably wouldn’t be able to do if there was a man in the picture.
So consider this my way of making lemonade with my lemons. I’m a single mom and I’m here to tell you it’s not all gloom and doom. Don’t believe me? Here are 10 reasons why I actually enjoy my life as a single parent.
1. There’s no one to undermine your power. I am literally the queen of my home and what I say goes. There’s no other adult in the household to weigh in with his/her opinions or try to reason or rationalize with me. Selfish? Yes. But still totally awesome.
2. Co-sleeping baby! Yup, my 3-year-old daughter still sleeps with me. I know we won’t always be able to share a bed, so I’m really savoring the closeness we have now while she’s young. If I were married, I have a sneaking suspicion the man in my life would be actively campaigning for my daughter to be in her own bed.
3. No fighting for closet space. Toddler clothes are tiny and easily fit into a nice, compact dresser. What that means for me is that the two closets in my apartment are available for all the lovely clothes and shoes I buy to fill the void.
4. My arms look great! When you’re a single mom, there’s no guaranteed guy to help you with your stroller up and down the subway stairs. Same for carrying a sleeping child–which is the equivalent of carrying dead weight, btw. So because I spent all those years lugging my daughter’s stroller and sleeping person around New York City, my arms look just as good as MObama’s.
5. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m the best shape of my life. I’m skinnier, but I’m also stronger than I’ve ever been. Obviously this comes in handy for more than just my self-esteem–I need to maximize my chances of getting a new man, of course.
6. The discipline issue. Ask any parent and they’ll tell you few things are more cringe-worthy than watching someone else reprimand or discipline your kid. The beauty of being a single parent? You’re bad cop and good cop.
7. Less mess. Considering my paranoid tendencies, it should come as no surprise that I like to keep my house relatively clean and orderly. I know not all men are messy, but a lot of them are so it gives me some consolation to know I have fewer people to clean up after. Trust me, a 3-year-old is just about all I could handle.
8. Vacations are a breeze to plan. There’s no coordinating schedules or cancelling trips because someone couldn’t get the time off. Last-minute trip? No problem. Just pack up my bags and few things for my little girl and we’re off.
9. I spend less on groceries. Probably way less. On a feast week, the most I spend on groceries for my daughter and me is $60. Typically, it’s more like $35. Add a man into the equation and my reasonable grocery budget goes right out the window.
10. The flirt factor! You can totally make googly eyes right back at the men who eye you when you’re out and about. Heck, you can even initiate the flirting if you’re feeling particularly brave.
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