Photo Credit: Amber Engfer Photography
The cliche of the groom zoning out of wedding planning is one of the biggest out there. It’s not that he isn’t interested in the wedding, it just sometimes seems as if there isn’t anything for him to do. He obviously can’t pick out a dress with you — nor does he want to — and most men would rather shoot themselves in the face than have a conversation about floral arrangements.
There are tons of ways a guy can be involved — and even get excited — about planning a wedding. Below are 10 ways to do it . Just don’t expect him to carry a planning binder.
1. Dance lessons: There are few absolutes in life, but one is that he will definitely have to dance with you, alone, in front of all your guests. To avoid any left feet, take a few lessons together to make sure that your big debut together doesn’t end in a pile up. Dance lessons double as a sweet, couples bonding experience. Just don’t tell him that.
2. Cake/menu tasting: If the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, then the way to get him excited about planning a wedding is to drag him to the cake or the menu tasting. He will suddenly have nuanced opinions about fillings and frostings.
3. Stuffing invites: Manual labor is fun for no one, especially when stuffing and sealing envelopes are involved. It’s a necessary evil, so lure your man to the arts and crafts table with a promise of his favorite food or booze. We’re talking stuff he wouldn’t get for himself, such as bottle of Macallan 18. It’s a total cliche, but it works. And you’ll get those invites out in half the time.
4. Picking out the registry: He probably hasn’t spent weeks poring over China patterns, but the kitchen is full of gadgets, and I’ve never met a guy who didn’t dig a new gadget. The registry may also turn into a big reveal moment when you realize that your fiance really likes to cook, or would love to experiment with a rotisserie. Even if he never wants to be winthin ten feet of an oven, guys like knives, and there are plenty to choose from and inspect at your local Crate & Barrel.
5. Table charts: Men are not immune to the eternal headache of working out a seating chart. Half the guests are coming from his side, so he’ll want to make sure all his friends and family are together. He also knows who not to put next to each other or what single friends of his absolutely should be placed next to yours.
6. Planning the honeymoon: The obvious appeal to this is that he’s put in charge of a trip that puts the two of you alone for an extended period of time. Honeymoons also come with a sense of adventure, so if he’s ever wanted to scuba dive, zip line through a jungle, hike a mountain, etc., a honeymoon is a great time to try it. Tell him that the alternative will be cruising every art museum in Rome. You’ll be booked for Kauai in no time.
7. Choosing a getaway car: This one is a no-brainer. Getaway cars come in all shapes and sizes and it gives him a chance to indulge in his fantasy of driving an Aston Martin or a vintage Mercedes. He’ll put more thought into this than the proposal.
8. Picking the music: You have to sit down and talk about what you want the reception to sound like. You may know a rockstar DJ, but deep down, he wants a brass band. If your groom is the music snob, give him omnipotent power over the wedding music. He’ll make more lists and do more research than you will.
9.Tuxedo Fittings: There are few tasks a bride can’t organize, and tuxedo fittings are one of them. The best you can do is suggest a few places to go, just don’t offer to drive them there. At some point, like leaving a toddler at pre-school, you just have to walk away and let them fend for themselves.
10. The rehearsal dinner: Tradition dictates that the groom’s family organizes the rehearsal dinner. You have enough to do, so let them have at it. It’s one event that you just have to show up at.