Listen up bridezillas! Yes, I am talking to you all, any one of you who is, thinks she isn’t, and is definitely not a bridezilla (cause let’s get real here, we’re all bridezillas on the days—or months!—leading up to the big day). There’s a time to be controlling, to get all your ducks in a row, to cross all your Ts and dot all your Is. And then there’s a time to take a few deep breaths and let it all go. The day is upon you and there’s just some things no amount of planning will allow you to control. No matter what happens (and, as much as you don’t want to hear this, something will go wrong, it always does), keep a smile on your face and your guests will follow suit. And remember—only you know every last detail and the way things are supposed to unfold. Your guests won’t recognize the mistakes if you let them slide off your back. You’ve planned to your heart’s content, you’re hoping for the best, now let it be. The only thing left for you to do now is practice that effortless, nothing’s-gonna-bother-me-
1. The weather. Rain on the wedding day means good fortune in your marriage? Is that like saying when a pigeon poops on your head it’s good luck? It’s just a way to make those of us who did have to sport umbrellas for some (or all!) of our wedding pictures feel better. But the one thing you can count on not being able to change is Mother Nature. If you’re having a summer wedding, you better have a rain plan in place in case you need to bring the outdoors in. Having a winter weeding? You need to prepare for cancelled flights, poor driving conditions, and a possible abbreviated guest list because of it. There’s no sense in worrying about the weather. Even the best laid plans could be turned upside down. So have that upside down plan mapped out and you’ll feel ready no matter what the day brings.
2. A drunk friend. Oy. There’s always one, isn’t there? Someone who gets giddy at just the muttering of the words “open bar.” There are ways to reduce the risk of your friend becoming the day’s most obnoxious guest. For starters, think about what you’re stocking your bar with and ask your bartenders to be smart about how much they are serving guests who are toeing the line between tipsy and topsy-turvy. If you really don’t want to deal with drunkards, come up with a menu of signature cocktails (many of which can have less alcohol in them than say your traditional gin & tonic) and have waiters pass them around. This will eliminate bar-crowding too. And it works especially well for outdoor weddings or weddings where people spend more time mingling and less time on the dance floor (usually the impetus for throwing back a few too many). In the end, laugh off a drunk friend’s scene-stealing worm or whatever ridiculousness is had—it’s their embarrassment, not yours.
3. A stain on your wedding dress. Eeek, okay, we’re with you on this one. The last thing you want on any part of that gorgeous gown is a stain—lipstick, red wine, deodorant, chocolate, whatever! The good news is (if there is a silver lining), the accident is likely to happen at the reception long after the ceremony and most party photos have been taken. Of course, if you’re planning to wear more than one dress, the solution is easy—make a quick exit and change early. Otherwise, plan ahead with a wedding-day survival kit. Yours should include things like a Tide Stain Pen (ask your wedding dress designer ahead of time if it will work on your material) and Hollywood Fashion Tape’s Deodorant Sponge.
4. An inappropriate comment in a speech. Awkward. Cue the crickets. Yep, I’ve seen it happen and you probably have too. Chalk it up to your friend, brother, groomsman being nervous and don’t take it as a personal insult. Your job ahead of the wedding day is to pick the best people for the speeches, friends and family members you can trust to make a heartfelt speech that will shed a beautiful glow on the two of you without putting the spotlight too bright and directly in your face. After that, like we said before, let it be. In the end, trust that your friends and family meant well and did the best they could and thank them regardless.
5. A friend who couldn’t make it. It sucks when a friend can’t make it to your big day. It happened to me. And I have been that friend too. Sometimes prior obligations get in the way, unexpected life events, or the weather. Try to keep it all in perspective that although it’s the biggest day of your life (thus far), it is just one day. Friends and family who are by your side and even those who aren’t still want to share a lifetime of adventure, dinner clubs, and babysitting swaps with you. Their attendance at your wedding—or not—shouldn’t change their friend status.
6. The crying baby at the ceremony. No kids allowed. That’s most brides’ top request. But when kids are allowed, kids will be kids. Your ring bearer will pick his nose. Your flower girl will get shy and forget to throw a single petal on the aisle. And your cousin’s baby will cry at the ceremony. Any reasonable parent who can’t quickly calm their baby will remove themselves (with baby) from the premises pronto. But you’ll be seething that your guests didn’t hear that really important couple of words the officiant just muttered. But you did, right? That’s really all that matters. This is your ceremony, your moment to commit your lives to one another, and really the only two people who need to hear, smell, and taste every last word is you and your partner.
7. No one sees the cake cutting. You’re going to stress over what?! No one ever sees the cake cutting (sorry). It always happens in a corner of the room where the lighting is good for the photographer to snap that must-have photo. But really, people are already off socializing, drinking, taking in the view from the wraparound porch. If your cake is a real centerpiece of the wedding and you want to show off that showstopper (as you should), have it displayed in an obvious area of the room well before the cake cutting begins. Your guests will have a chance to marvel at its magnificence and you’ll worry less that no one sees you slice it.
8. Guests switched seats. We know, we know, you labored over the seating chart. You kept fighting aunts away from one another and put all your fiance’s single friends with all your single friends. And now people are switching seats? Didn’t they see the escort cards? Can they not read your table numbers?! Does it really matter? You gave the room as much organization as you possibly could… now let it go. There will be a seat for everyone. Everyone will manage to eat. And you have bigger things to think about than who is sitting where—your first dance is coming up! Have those steps memorized?
9. You forgot the steps to your first dance. Whoops! It’s okay. Who’s going to notice? If either of you has two left feet, you might not want to choreograph a world-class performance anyhow. And if you do go for it, have a few signature moves that can be performed at different points in the song. Missed your first dip? Wow your guests with the second. Just relax, have fun, and remind yourself that this moment is one where you really want to be “in the moment” with each other and enjoy your new official coupledom—regardless of who’s stepping on whose toes.
10. The song you just really didn’t want the DJ to play. You made your must-play list and, more importantly, your must-never-no-matter-what-
Trust us, you’re the role models at your wedding. Whatever you’re into, whatever is making you happy, your guests will follow your lead. Keep a smile on your face, let your worries go, and you might even surprise yourself—your worst-case-scenario-bridal-
[Photo: STUDIO 1208]