All the babyproofing books tell you about covering the sockets, eliminating sharp edges and corners and putting safety latches on the cabinets, but that’s only half the battle. Things definitely change when your baby becomes mobile, but they get even crazier when your mobile baby becomes a fully functioning toddler. I’m not sure if there is a complete toddler proofing book, but here are 10 things that should be in it.
1. Markers. Because walls aren’t the only white things they’ll destroy. Do you know how hard it is to get marker off teeth?
2. Toilet paper. Even though I’ve explained to my daughter she only needs 2 squares, she insists on unraveling at least half of the friggin’ toilet paper roll every time she uses the bathroom. It baffles me why I need to buy toilet paper every week when there are only 2 of us using it.
3. A belt. After reading Farah’s scary encounter, I’m hyper-sensitive about not leaving belts laying around anymore.
4. Mommy’s nice shoes. Because little feet and sticky hands have a weird way of destroying beautiful suede pumps beyond repair.
5. A cell phone or tablet. Yes, I know you have a smart phone, but there’s a good chance your toddler is smarter. I’ve heard stories of kids accidentally racking up crazy charges in the app store. My daughter constantly calls people I’d rather not talk to.
6. Any beauty product you even remotely value. Unlike most OTC products, beauty products don’t come with childproof tops. That means your little one can easily pop the top off that eyeliner and go to town on his/her face and/or your walls. Same goes for lotion, which my daughter is particularly fond of rubbing all over herself… and her clothes. Oh, and nail polish.
7. Exercise equipment. Farah referenced the terribly tragic story about Mike Tyson’s daughter getting caught in the treadmill, but I also know of a toddler who broke his foot because he dropped one of mom’s dumbbells on it. I know I said it’s our responsibility to keep our kids from becoming overweight, but this is not the way to do it.
8. Toothpaste. My daughter is currently obsessed with brushing her teeth, so earlier this week I made the mistake of letting her do it alone. When I went into the bathroom to check on her, what was 5 minutes before a full tube of toothpaste was now half empty. Her preferred brushing method? A nice pile of toothpaste in the sink that she occasionally dipped her toothbrush into.
9. Glasses. This definitely goes for prescription glasses, but also applies if you care at all about your sunglasses. You’d think I would have learned when my little girl broke my last pair of glasses attempting to put them on her babydoll, but no. I still mistakenly leave them within her arm’s reach every once in a while and without fail they’re either wrapped around a stuffed animal or under her foot.
10. The remote control. Don’t call the authorities, but I do sometimes plop my little girl in front of the TV so I can make a phone call or do the dishes. I never, however, leave the remote. Ever since that one time I caught her watching Hung, she’s not even allowed to touch the remote.
Is there anything you won’t leave your child alone with? Share in the comments.
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