It’s time! You’re ready for a relationship… or so you think? If you’re still going back and forth debating the pros and the cons of whether this is really the right time, you may need some more self discovery. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to find out if you’re REALLY ready for your next relationship.
1. What makes me happy?
“If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?” We’ve all heard this quote before, and there’s an important reason behind it. Knowing oneself is the key to happiness. For example, What makes you smile? Once we learn this about ourselves, we can access it at any time, meaning we don’t have to rely others to make us happy. I know this may be difficult to find, but that’s the beauty of self exploration! Just remember, before you commit to loving someone else, learn to love yourself first.
2. Do I know myself well enough?
In the words of Ferris Bueller: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around for a while, you could miss it.” Well said Bueller..well said. Have you really given yourself enough time to know yourself as an adult? I know this may sound odd, but I guarantee that your interests, expectations, and goals have all changed dramatically over the years. I know mine have! Try spending some quality time with yourself. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy life! The better you get to know yourself, the more you can bring to your next relationship.
3. What do I REALLY want?
Are you a “YES” person? Do you accept every invite? Do you back down during every confrontation? If the answer is yes, you’re not taking care of yourself. This may seem like a positive approach to a relationship, but in reality it’s damaging. Learning how to ask for what we need means that we value ourselves enough to say what we feel, making our happiness and well being a priority.
4. Am I ready for a relationship?
If this is still a question, then you may have some thinking to do. The fact is, we’re not always on the same timeline as our friends/family, nor do we fall in and out of love the same way. We’re all different. The timing of a successful relationship is everything. This is something that many of us tend to forget, resulting in instability. Take your time. When you’re ready, you will know.
5. What do I want from my next relationship?
This is extremely important, especially as you get older. When you enter your next relationship, make sure you ask yourself whether you want something serious or casual. This will be your stepping stone in moving forward to a happier future. Ask yourself: What kind of your person you would like as a partner? What mistakes do you want to avoid moving forward? The more you know about what you want, the easier it’s going to be for you to choose your next partner.
About the author: Ashley Kaylor is a professional matchmaker in New York City. Follow her on Twitter @ashley_kaylor!