Style

5 Signs You're NOT Ready To Say 'I Love You' Back

October 20, 2015 by ashley kaylor
shefinds | Style

There are a few worse things in a new relationship than hearing your boyfriend say, “I love you,” and then feeling confused about how to respond to this revelation (worse: not hearing it at all). Instead of giving your partner mixed messages or acting disingenuous, consider exploring the signs of why you may not be ready. Check out my top 5 signs of why you’re not ready to return the “love” just yet:

1. You Just Started Dating!

The title says it all. If you’re in a new relationship with no boundaries or direction established, then these words shouldn’t be used yet. However if you’re under the age of 20, I can make an exception. As an adult, you know what it truly feels like to be loved and what it feels like to love another. However, many of us are still confusing love with lust. Let me clarify, lust tends to be short-lived and is more of an immediate gratification. However, being in love doesn’t exclude lust. In fact, lust can lead to love. Real love is not based on idealization or projection, it requires time to get to know each other. Let your lust turn into a meaningful love. You’ll know and feel the difference.

2. You’re Not Over Your Ex

This should be obvious, but for some it’s not. If you still have feelings for an ex, you shouldn’t be dating anyone, nonetheless saying “I love you.” You need to be honest with yourself. Are you REALLY ready to put forth the same feelings your partner is? If you’re still unsure, don’t respond with words that were meant for another…

3. You’re Feeling The Pressure

If it feels even remotely like an obligation, you’re not ready. Saying, “I love you,” should send butterflies through your body, not pins and needles. Don’t let pressure put you in a position you’re not ready for. You’ll resent the relationship later.

4. Thinking About Saying It Freaks You Out

Normally, when you’re ready to say “I love you,” you WANT to say it. You think about it all the time and you can’t stop wondering if he/she feels the same way. On the other hand, if you’re not ready, the thought of it makes you panic. Make sure you listen to your gut….literally.

5. You’re Afraid To Open Up

When you’re ready to say those three little words, you’re not only comfortable with the relationship, but you’re comfortable with your own feelings. At this point in a relationship you’ve developed a bond that has surpassed casual dating. You’ve met your best friend. You now feel close enough to talk about anything! If this isn’t the case, and you’re still holding back, you’re not close enough to bring your relationship to the next level.

About the author: Ashley Kaylor is a professional matchmaker in New York City. Follow her on Twitter @ashley_kaylor! 

From Our Partners

Learn more about RevenueStripe...

From Our Partners

Learn more about RevenueStripe...

Fashion

This $26 Dress Looks Good On *Every* Woman

December 13, 2018 by Jeanine Edwards
The. Best.

Fashion

These Bestselling Nordstrom Leggings Are 50% Off For A Limited Time Only

December 13, 2018 by Jeanine Edwards
You're welcome!

Fashion

Every Woman Should Own This Sweater Dress--It's Super Warm And It Looks Good On *Everybody*

December 13, 2018 by Jeanine Edwards
The perfect winter dress!

Fashion

Psst! The Best Waterproof Boots Are On Sale For Less Than $40 Right Now

December 13, 2018 by Jeanine Edwards
Don't think twice.

Fashion

The Coat Everyone Will Be Wearing This Winter (& It's Not Puffers!)

December 13, 2018 by Jessica Harrington
We're shopping this trend ASAP.

Fashion

The ONLY Jeans You’ll Need This Winter, According To Hundreds of Customer Reviews

December 12, 2018 by Emily Belfiore
They're on sale for $37 right now!!

Fashion

6 Things You Can Get From Anthropologie's Sale Section Right Now For Under $21

December 11, 2018 by Jessica Harrington
Who's ready to go shopping?

Fashion

The One Coat Trend That’s Going To Be EVERYWHERE This Winter

December 10, 2018 by Jessica Harrington
We love this trend!

Fashion

Drop Everything--Natori's Crazy Popular Convertible Bra Is On Sale For Just $27!

December 7, 2018 by Jeanine Edwards
It's cheaper than ever!

Fashion

This $26 Dress Looks Good On *Every* Woman

I love a deal as much as the next woman, ...

Fashion

Psst! The Best Waterproof Boots Are On Sale For Less Than $40 Right Now

With the official start of winter just a few days ...

Fashion

Believe It! All Of These Luxe Leather Gifts Are $65 Or Less #ThanksCuyana

If you're anything like me, then chances are holiday ...

LOAD MORE
+
LOAD MORE POSTS