6 Common Bachelorette Party Etiquette Question--Answered

May 22, 2015 by Linda DiProperzio
shefinds | Weddings

With all that work you’re putting in planning the perfect wedding, you definitely deserve a night out. The bachelorette party is a time when you and your best girls can kick back and relax. Whether you’re planning an evening out or a getaway, you might run into some questions about the event. Don’t fear–we have the answers you’re looking for to make sure everyone has a night (or weekend) to remember.

Who pays for the bachelorette party? While everyone usually chips in to cover the cost of the bride’s food and drinks for a night out, if you’re planning a weekend away you can’t expect all of your expenses to be paid by your bridal party and other guests. So sit down with your MOH and figure out who will pay for what–and that everyone is on the same page before the event.

Do I have to invite all of my female guests? No–the bachelorette party is usually reserved for the bridal party and any close girlfriends. But it’s really up to the bride, so if you want to include your mom, future MIL, favorite aunt or anyone else you want, then feel free. Just make sure whoever you ask to join in on the fun is also going to be invited to the wedding.

Should we do a joint bachelor/bachelorette party? While there is a growing trend towards couples having a joint celebration, it’s really up to you and your groom. If it’s a weekend away, it might be fun to have the entire bridal party together so they can bond. This also works well if there are any couples in your bridal party–it might be easier for them to schedule everything for the same night or weekend (especially if they have to travel for the event, need to arrange childcare, pet sitting, etc.).

What about guests that don’t drink? Your friends who don’t drink can still have a good time with everyone, especially if you’re planning other activities that don’t involve alcohol, like going to a spa during the day, then dinner and drinks. If you plan on spending all of your time at the local bar or club getting wasted, though, you should tell your pal it’s okay if she wants to leave after an hour or so. No matter what, you want to make sure anyone who chooses to stay sober isn’t made to feel uncomfortable about it.

Are there any ideas that don’t involve drinking at all? Of course! From a spa day and cooking classes to mud runs and thrill rides, there is plenty of fun to be had that doesn’t require you to even sip a cocktail. You can check out our list of ideas here.

What if some bridesmaids can’t afford what the brides wants to do? Your bridesmaids are buying a (likely) pricey dress and shoes to wear for your big day–the last thing you want is for them to go into serious debt for your bachelorette. If you have your heart set on a weekend away, by all means do it. But don’t get mad or pressure anyone to join you who simply don’t have the funds to cover it. Instead, plan a local, more low-key night out with those ladies when you get back.

Be sure to check out 11 ways to make your beach wedding stand out, 11 easy DIYs any bride and do and 6 wedding decisions you should consult your mom on.





Linda DiProperzio is a weddings expert and freelance writer based in New York.

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