Choosing a maid of honor is a major wedding decision for every bride. This one person will not just stand next to you during the ceremony, but she’ll also be by your side during the planning process. Here are some ways to get your MOH involved in the months leading up to the big day without stressing the both of you out.
1. Give her plenty of notice. When you ask that all important question, “Will you be my maid of honor?” also be sure to discuss what you expect her to take on in this role. If you expect her to be at every dress fitting and meeting with the caterer, then let her know before she makes the commitment to be standing beside you on your big day.
2. Choose just a few important to-dos. You and your groom should be planning the wedding together, so it’s should be unnecessary for the MOH to help you with every little detail of the event. Remember, she does have other things going on besides your wedding! Instead, choose just a few items that you know you’ll need her help with, such as dress shopping, planning the bridal shower, putting together favors and stuffing wedding invites.
3. Play to her strengths. Maybe your MOH is a fashionista? Or her favorite hobby is floral design? Choose tasks that not only will she enjoy, but that she actually has some talent for, which will ultimately help you out much more than loading her with a bunch of mundane tasks she has no interest in.
4. Give her some direction. If you ask her to take charge of some big ticket items, such as planning the bridal shower and/or bachelorette party, be sure to give her some guidelines so she knows what you want. Trying to read your mind will only lead to stress and possible resentment.
5. Skip the micro-managing. No one wants to have someone standing over their shoulder all the time, so after giving your MOH some direction, take a step back and let her take charge. It’s okay to check in every once in a while to see if she needs some help, but refrain from sending constant emails or texts asking for updates.
6. Don’t be a diva. Even if your MOH has the patience of a saint, no one wants to deal with a bridezilla. The best way to entice your best gal to help out more is to make sure you’re pleasant to be around and that you don’t drive her crazy. Oh, and don’t forget to put aside the wedding talk every now and then and ask her how she’s doing!