7 Questions To Ask Before Choosing Your Wedding Party

November 5, 2014 by Linda DiProperzio
shefinds | Weddings

Figuring out which of your family and friends you want to include in your bridal party is a big decision. Many couples jump into it right after they get engaged, which can wind up biting them in the you-know-what later on when that super cool friend turns into a nightmare bridesmaid or groomsman. So before you pop the question, consider these 7 factors to help you decide who will be the best fit for your bridal party.

Be sure to check out these cute winter wedding favors, 7 reasons to have a short engagement and 8 tips for planning a wedding budget.

How big will the wedding be? If you’re planning on having a small, intimate wedding, a wedding party of 20 will simply look out of place. Before you start asking friends and family members to be a part of your special day, sit down with your groom and figure out exactly what you want that day to look like.

Will these people really be in our lives in the future? Of course, the plan with any friend is to have them in your lives 5, 10, 20 years in the future. But that isn’t the case with some pals–like your girlfriend you loved to party with before meeting your fiancé, your cubicle mate or your long-distance friend you met when you studied abroad. Do you really think these pals will be around after you start popping out babies? If you’re not sure, then invite them to the wedding as a guest, not as part of the bridal party.

Are they supportive of our relationship? Your girlfriend who isn’t that crazy about your fiancé or your groom’s buddy who thinks getting hitched is the equivalent of being sent to the chair probably aren’t the best people to ask to play such an important role in your wedding day.

Will they help during the planning process? If you have a friend who wouldn’t help you move into a new place or pick you up from the airport, then chances are good that they won’t be interested in helping out with the details of your wedding–or the bridal shower and bachelorette party. You want people who will help ease some of your planning stress, not just show up on the big day looking pretty and ready to party.

Am I asking her to be a bridesmaid just so I don’t hurt her feelings? No one wants to offend a friend, but inviting someone into your bridal party just to keep the peace is a bad idea. Trust us, no one wants to be asked out of pity anyway.

Will she be able to handle the expenses that go along with being in a wedding party? There’s no doubt about it–being in a bridal party can be super expensive. Asking your unemployed friend or someone you know is strapped for cash is unwise. Instead, find something else for them to do at the wedding so they can play a special role without having to spend any money, such as asking her to do a reading during the ceremony.

What does my groom want? While you might be fine with asking your 10 BFFs to be bridesmaids, your groom might have a different vision for the bridal party. Remember it’s his day too, so ask who he’d like to include from his side and work out a compromise if needed.





Linda DiProperzio is a weddings expert and freelance writer based in New York.

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