We asked matchmakers to reveal how to tell if you’re dating the person you’ll eventually marry.
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PHOTOGRAPHY BY: NBC/COURTESY NEAL PETERS COLLECTION
Your mother thinks he’s adorable, you laugh at all of his silly jokes, and you’re planning a couple’s Halloween costume! But how do you know that he is the right guy for you? We asked a few matchmakers to share the telltale signs that you’ve found a keeper.
1. You have a lot in common.
Similar interests spark great conversation—which is essential in any relationship. Physical attraction can only sustain you for so long, after all. “I don’t believe that opposites can sustain a relationship if they have nothing in common,” says Samantha Daniels, professional matchmaker and founder of The Dating Lounge App. In fact, most matchmakers pair people based off of similar hobbies. Carly Spindel of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking explains, “I look for commonalities in people, shared interests, if you’re on the same wave length, or if they have the same values. A lot of people think they have the same values with their partner until they have a serious conversation about it.”
2. You communicate with each other.
Common interests. Check. Now, do you know how to communicate those interests to your boo? Similarities aside, it’s imperative to be open and honest about values and life goals. “I encourage women to get intimate with their priorities. And then prioritize the most important ones. Make dating choices based on those most important priorities,” explains dating coach, matchmaker, and Train Spottings creator Erika Christensen.
3. You don’t fight dirty.
Every relationship is going to have its arguments and disagreements—it’s unrealistic to think otherwise. It is, however, a reasonable expectation to be able to come away from a fight with all sides heard and respected. Tawkify matchmaker Alene Boon says you should ask yourself, “Do you fight well? Do you fight fairly? And can you put it back together honestly?” Also, Daniels notes a great sign that you’ve found your match is “if you can’t stay angry at him for a long time … He has that je ne sais quoi.”
4. He respects everyone.
It’s important to observe the way your guy speaks to his friends. If he comes across sweet and lovely to you, but isn’t appalled by misogynistic behavior with or towards other people … it’s time to reevaluate, because that is a big red flag. “The person you marry is a generally kind person who treats people with respect … especially women,” Christensen says.
5. You’re each other’s best friend. Picture this: You’re both stuck on a raft in the middle of the ocean waiting for the rescue boat. Could you make it through the next few hours together? If not, then those next few hours are going to be brutal. If you feel excited to see that person day everyday—even when stuck on a raft!—then you’ve found your match.
6. You support each other. Your significant other should make you want to be better: This person should be your biggest fan when you succeed and your support system through the tough times. “Be with a person that inspires you to be the best. Yet you don’t feel you have to censor yourself when you’re at your worst,” says Christensen.
7. You laugh at the same jokes. Yeah, you could marry a guy that looks great on paper with zero sense of humor—but that sounds incredibly dull. “You marry the man who makes you laugh. You know when that person walks through the door, you’re going to have a good time,” explains Christensen.
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