You planned the absolute perfect wedding. For months you were the center of attention. Everyone wanted to talk to you about the dress, the favors, the flowers, the food…you were a bride. And now? Nothing. No more parties, no more pretty RSVP envelopes in the mail, no more to-do lists. You are merely another sheep in a flock of newlyweds…
Relax. Post-bridal blues are common and easily dealt with. A wedding signifies a major life change which, naturally, will be a big psychological change as well. Take a deep breath. Remember: your wedding was one day out of a whole life together with your new husband. Here are nine steps to deal with après-wedding bell blues:
1. Stop talking about it. Your wedding was great, everyone had a great time, but now it’s time to talk about other things. You’re going to get a lot of eye rolls from your friends if you’re still babbling about wedding stuff. This is also the time to throw away unused vendor information and break up with your online wedding forum. You’ll notice most people aren’t posting as much anyway.
2. Find a hobby, even if it is somewhat wedding related. Since you have so much free time, bust out your glue guns out and start scrapbooking the daylights out of your wedding, or make a shadow box with all the detritus from your wedding, such as programs and the confetti from the tables. This is also a good time to return duplicate gifts. Completing post-wedding chores is an easy way to tie up loose ends and ease out of bride mode.
Note for brides-to-be: Keep a list of things you want to do but don’t have time for. Maybe it’s a book you want to read, a new restaurant you want to try, or a weekend trip you’d like to take with your husband. It’s a good way to have things to look forward to after the wedding is over.
3. Send thank-you notes. While you’re still basking in the halcyon glow of your wedding, write your thank-you notes. This way, you can make each note personal with a memory of something you and the guest did during the wedding or at one of the satellite events. Thank you so much for the china place setting. It was great doing the electric slide with you at the reception. For inspiration, check out the thank-you notes over at Minted.com.
4. Make a photobook for your parents and in-laws. Putting together albums is a creative outlet that allows you to linger in bride mode, and it’s an easy way to knock out a Christmas or birthday gift for your parents and in-laws. There will be thousands of photos from your wedding to sift through, so it’s a project that should keep you busy for a while.
5. Deal with your dress. Whether you’re going to clean and preserve it or donate it, this is definitely a task that needs to be dealt with. Cleaning and preserving the dress will cost around $400 at just about any dry cleaner, depending on your geographic area. If you have dust and grass stains on the dress, you can take it to the cleaners within a month of the wedding. However, if the stain is more intense, such a red wine, you should get it cleaned within a few days. Many cleaners will even come and pick up the dress for you. You can also sell your dress on websites such as Once Wed.
6. Change your name. If you want to. When you do, married life will feel totally official. Check out missnowmrs.com, a web site that will do it for you.
7. Pay it forward. You just planned a wedding, and therefore you have a binder full of ideas and contacts. Don’t let it go to waste! Offer your resources to a newly engaged bride. Your insights could help her avoid a mistake in putting together her big day.
Apart from logistical knowledge and experience, there is also the issue of the actual stuff you will have left over. You can either get on a wedding forum and give it away. (I have 50 votives. Who wants them?) Or you can be a capitalist and sell it all on sites such as Etsy. Etsy is great solution if you have decor items such as vases, tablecloths and candle holders, which might have some resale value.
8. Apply your planning skills to something else. If you feel the uncontrollable urge to plan something, try planning a party for all of your friends that you didn’t get to spend a lot of time with, be it at the wedding or during its planning. You’ll get to bust out the good china you received as wedding gifts and all the other fun entertaining pieces you undoubtedly registered for! So go ahead: plan a menu, DIY some centerpieces, and have a real conversation with your besties.
9. Accept it. You are married. See that guy sitting across the table from you, the guy who gave you that sparkly ring a few months ago? That’s your husband. Go give him a big kiss, or better yet, spend some quality time with him. Find a good couples sport (tennis and golf are good choice), go for a walk, or find just something to focus on together that doesn’t involve a guest list or a seating chart.
You could even work on having baby! That’s a project with plenty of resources.