Ask A Newlywed: 5 Things It's OK To Be A Bridezilla About
July 28, 2011
While planning your wedding there will be a few brave souls who dare to call you the “B” word: bridezilla. Yes, those ladies on TLC may deserve the title, but you?! Absolutely not. You’re just a bride who wants her wedding to be exactly what you always dreamed it would be. Not everything is worth a meltdown, but we’re giving you a pass on these 5:
1. Choosing the dress.
I went to 3 of my 5 bridal appointments alone, and I can’t recommend solo wedding dress shopping enough. The opinions of others (sorry, mom!) really do not matter: you know your own aesthetic, and (hopefully) what works best for your body. If you do crave a second opinion, consider bringing a stylish co-worker who will chime in with good advice, but who isn’t emotionally involved.
2. Family members getting along.
Family drama is inevitable when planning such a big, expensive life event, but it’s also normal (and OK) to have zero tolerance for the in-fighting. Squash the drama early on — tell bickering family members that if they can’t get along they can’t come. Of course, you don’t mean it — but they’ll never know that.
3. All those friggin’ plus 1’s.
We’re also big fans of sticking to a sound budget (whether you or Daddy is footing the bill), and keeping plus 1’s to a minimum is essential. It’s OK not to give everyone a plus 1 on their invitation — they’ll live. And if someone writes in a guest on their reply card, its OK (especially if you’ve never met this person) to write a polite note to the invited guest explaining the financial situation, and that you just cannot accommodate their date. Close the letter with a positive statement like, “I can’t wait to celebrate with you two after the wedding!”
If you’re afraid to confront +1 offenders, don’t lose any sleep: some of the people you counted on being there WILL reply “No.”
4. Telling people how they can help.
Don’t ever, ever be afraid to tell people exactly how they can help. Especially in the final months, it’s your job to outsource some of the responsibilities. It’s OK to tap in to those managerial skills you’ve honed at work; e-mail your in-laws a list of things to do (don’t forget to say “please!”) or tell your brothers point-blank that they have some guest bags to stuff. Ain’t no shame in being productive.
5. The makeup and hair trials.
I’m speaking from experience here — do not walk out of your trials without settling on a look you’re happy with. I had to pay for two hair trials for this reason: after fussing with my hair for 2 hours, my stylist pushed me out of the first trial for her next appointment. I was afraid to speak up and this was a mistake — if he or she is a true professional, they won’t let you leave without agreeing on a look and proving they can execute it. There should be no hair or makeup guesswork on the big day.
Shop our guides to the best strapless wedding dresses, white wedding shoes, and inexpensive wedding dresses.