Relationships can be unpredictable. One day you’re head over heels in love, imagining your fairy tale future together and then the next you find yourself fighting for “something” that is no longer. That chapter of your life has come to an end. You’re not ready to say goodbye to the present, nor your future. What do you do now? Letting go of someone who meant so much to you is incredibly difficult. It can often feel like you’ll never move on; however letting that person go is possible. The journey may not be easy, but if you can follow my 5 coping methods, you’ll find that your future without him is just as bright.
1. Understand Why You Two Had To Part Ways
Coming to a clear understanding of why you two parted ways is one of the hardest things to do after a breakup. Our first reaction is to let our minds wander into the past, relive the good times and dwell on what is no longer. This is common, but completely unproductive. Every time a pleasant thought or memory enters your mind, try countering it with a negative thought or memory. I know this may sound hurtful and counterproductive, but by consistently reminding yourself of why you had to call it quits can make your healing period a whole lot easier and quicker.
2. Let Go Of The Relationship Completely..
It’s one thing to break up and understand why you two had to part ways, it’s another thing to respect his/her decision and remain apart. No matter what experience you’ve had in the past, breakups are difficult for both sides, no matter who broke up with whom. The important thing to remember is that you need to be careful with how you express your grief. Your emotions may be running wild and at times feel uncontrollable. However, you need to take a step back, take a deep breath, clear your head, and reason with yourself as to why you need to continue moving on with your life. You only have the future ahead of you, make it as clear and positive as you can.
3. Take Time To Heal
“Time heals all wounds.” I always hated when people said this to me. It sounded emotionless and generic. However, they were always right. Time did pass and my fears, sadness and loneliness all faded. Time does heal a broken heart. How much time it takes all depends on the person and how much effort you put into it. Sometimes time shows us that the feelings we felt were completely natural or maybe we wished we had handled it better.. Either way you have to give time a chance. Even if it doesn’t do the trick of healing all your wounds, it will most certainly numb the pain. It will turn those vivid memories into blurry renditions.
4. Find Love Within Yourself.
Don’t confuse this with finding a new lover. We all know that finding a new partner right after a breakup is just a rebound. Don’t let your grief cloud your clarity. My suggestion is to focus on yourself and find love within. Concentrate on what makes you happy? What did you enjoy prior to your relationship? Make sure you feed that love with positivity and consistency. This type of self-exploration will allow you to reconnect with yourself and move on in a positive direction.
5. Let New People In And Your Old Friends Renter
Friends and family are extremely important during and after a breakup. You may not understand or take their advice, but at the end of the day that advice is coming from a good place…a place of love. This is the healthy replacement and/or aid you need. This isn’t about replacing what was lost, it’s about moving on. Once you find yourself dealing less and less with your grief, you find your mind less preoccupied with the person you’re letting go of. It’s now time to open yourself to new people and old experiences.
About the author: Ashley Kaylor is a professional matchmaker in New York City. Follow her on Twitter @ashley_kaylor!