Style

Dating Anxiety? 5 Tips On How To Relax And Actually Enjoy It

September 9, 2015 by ashley kaylor
shefinds | Style

If you’re single and looking for love, you’re likely familiar with the uncomfortable anxieties that come with it. “What if he doesn’t like me? Why isn’t he calling me back? Is he dating other people?” Do any of these questions sound familiar? We’ve all been there, and we can all agree that being in this head space is not fun, nor healthy. However, I have good news! There are ways that can help you prevent your nervous jitters! If you’re ready to feel better about yourself and enjoy dating again, check out my top 5 tips on how to approach dating with a clear mind and body!

Use uplifting self-talk. This may sound silly, and a bit juvenile, but trust me it works. Studies have proved that by simply reversing your thoughts from negative to positive, you’re more likely to feel less anxious in your execution. At first, you may not fully believe everything you’re actually saying out loud, but with repetition, you’ll soon develop a positive mindset. For example, as you prepare for your date, consciously say nice things to yourself like “I’m feeling good. I’m looking good and I’m ready to enjoy myself!” Simple dialogue like this will make you feel less worried about your date ahead so you can actually enjoy yourself! Positive self-talk works, so be disciplined and repeat kind, uplifting words to yourself throughout your day in preparation for your date and relationships.

Give yourself a break. Take a deep breathe….it’s just a date. The worst thing you can do is dwell on how bad your date was or how you’re going to be single forever (Que the violins). The reality is, you’ll probably go on a few more bad dates and you’ll probably get disappointed again, but that’s OKAY! Embrace the bad experiences, learn from them and keep it movin! Remember one of the most attractive qualities in a person is confidence. Prove to yourself that dating isn’t everything and doesn’t define who you are.

Sweat it out–literally. You may be thinking, “Here we go again…another blogger trying to solve all my problems with exercise and healthy living.” Well, you’re kind of right. Although exercise may be the last thing on your mind, it can drastically help you with EVERYTHING weighing on your mind. Exercise acts as an immediate release for your uncomfortable predate jitters. Getting your body balanced is a big part of feeling mentally and physically balanced, and what better way to start your date than feeling refreshed and energized!

Be selfish. I’m a strong believer in being selfish, (every once in awhile that is). In order to be the best version of “YOU”, you need to take care of yourself. Stop worrying about the outcome of your next date and/or relationship. Focus on what you need and deserve right now. Self soothing remedies can help one cope with emotions when they arise. Next time you feel like your head is spinning, go for a walk, get a massage…do whatever you can to make yourself happy and relaxed in that moment. You’ll see things aren’t as bad as they may seem.

Call a buddy. Friends can act as great support when you’re feeling anxious. If you’re anxious and feel like your head is spinning, call a friend and say “I need a pep talk.” Take a few minutes and vent about you’re insecurities. I’m sure he/she has been in the same position at one point or another. If you can give yourself space to vent your negative feelings, you’ll more likely be able to bounce back minutes later. Focus and remind yourself that dating can be fun and enjoyable. Keep things in perspective and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

Author:

About the author: Ashley Kaylor is a professional matchmaker in New York City. Stay Connected On FB: Matchmaker of Love & Lifestyle or Follow her on Twitter @ashley_kaylor!

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