As I look back through fashion history, I think that there is, perhaps, a pact amongst male fashion designers to guarantee perpetual female discomfort. The corset, the underwire, the high heel, floss-like underwear, hair removal… BRAZILIAN WAXING – all qualify as fashion induced torture.
However, after a season of fashions that have been more kind than cruel, Dolce and Gabbana have brought back the pain and created the metal corset belt. At over $3000, it is as unkind to your wallet as it is to your ability to inhale, because this belt cinches any waist to a make-a-runway-model-feel-fat 23 inches. Its decorative padlock appears to be subliminal nod to its existence as a nutritional chastity belt. After all, good luck eating when your internal organs are probably being forced into unnatural positions around the ribs and hips.
But this masochistic little piece of metal has been spotted on the likes of Giselle, Jemima Kahn, Beyonce, Naomi Campbell, and other women who seem willing to spend ridiculous amounts of money for an equally ridiculous midsection. Some of their physiques are slim enough to avoid the awkward displacement of flesh above and below the belt's shining borders, and the unlucky others brave their new lady lumps for a status-symbol tiny middle.
Although high couture now, this belt will surely be reproduced on the cheap eventually. And thus, one will have to question, is it hot or not? Are you willing to allow the ability to inhale to join your stilleto scarred feet as another fashion casualty?
Despite it's uncomfortable fit and hefty price tag, the belt has sold out everywhere. For a similar style with an equally fancy name, try the D&G Wide Quilted Belt (a paltry $495) or Ferragamo's Wide Patent Belt ($420). If budget not pedigree is your true concern, Urban Outfitters also has their own version on sale for only $14.99.