Gwyneth Paltrow‘s annual GOOP gift guide is here and no one is surprised that it’s absurd. But it’s not just the insanely high prices that make this years list her most pretentious one yet. From the gifts she “thinks” we want, to the “panel of young sophisticates” she enlists to pick out the kids items, we’d say Gwynie has officially out done herself in the “I’m better than you” department. Maybe she’s trying to compete with her “friend” Jay Z and his Barney’s collab? Who knows. But here are 7 things we learned for this year’s GOOP gift guide:
1) That “panel of young sophisticates” is made up of Paltrow’s kids AND a few other familiar celeb children. There’s Ryder (Kate Hudson‘s son) and Violet (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner‘s daughter). Guess Blue Ivy wasn’t down…
2) Gwyneth’s son Moses Martin wants a hamster for Christmas.
3) Violet Affleck is really into surfing. See her gift picks.
4) Ryder Hudson clearly wants to be a hockey player when he grows up.
No onto the rest of the gift guide (what us grown-ups won’t be getting because we’re not billionaires like Paltrow).
5) Gwynie thinks a “good gift” is a monthly subscription box of gluten-free vegan products. Unless I’m gluten-free, if someone got this for me as a gift I’d just be like “no”.
6) Hermés isn’t just all clothes, shoes and bags, they also make a deck of cards. Gwynie thinks it’s “perfect for hitting the games room after dinner”. Because we all have games rooms in our house.
7) She’s an unorganized “disaster” this year and that’s why her gift guide is going up soooo late. Chill girl. Christmas is still over a month away. I’m sure you’ll have time to get your shopping to your assistant. Or just send her the link to this guide.