How To Be More Confident: Expert Tips From Confidence Coach Lauren Zander
July 4, 2015
I recently attended the Marshalls Children’s Conference Confidence Workshop and Styling Session for a group of amazing kids–the JDRF 2015 Children’s Congress Delegates, to be exact–who are heading to Congress on July 13th to speak about a topic that is very near and dear to them: type 1 diabetes. Because Marshalls believes that having great clothes makes you feel great and will help you become more confident, they paired each of the delegates with a stylist. It was so fun and the kids looked great!
The workshop also featured a session with Life Coach Lauren Zander, who shared tips for being more confident as they prepare to speak with key lawmakers in Washington. Lauren’s tips were amazing, and the editors and other adults in the room could not help but find our own inspiration from them (“I need to try this!” one editor whispered to me as Lauren explained the concept of creating your own personal tagline). I just had to share them all here:
Marshalls believes that having great clothes that make you feel great will help you become more confident. To make this belief a reality, Marshalls paired us stylists with one of the children Delegates for the second part of the event.
Visualize your dream: The first step is to identify exactly what you hope to get out of your journey/project/event.
Put it in writing: When you are dreaming and coming up with goals that are important to you, it helps to write it down…in pen! Be specific about what you want to achieve and how you’re going to achieve it. Really visualize it.
Face Your Fear: In order to accomplish your dream you need to figure out what could hold you back. What are your fears? Where are the nerves are coming from? Everyone gets scared when they have to speak in front of people and this triggers having an inner dialogue, (a conversation with yourself in your head) about the fear. What are you saying to yourself that is scary? “I’ll forget what to say. I won’t speak loud enough. What if I fall down walking to the microphone? What if they don’t care?”
Harness your Confidence: Moving past any nervousness and conquering it is how you build confidence. That feeling is not a sign that something is wrong, it’s a sign of excitement, of a deep desire or that you are doing something big. Find comfort in the discomfort. Prepare to harness your confidence by doing the following steps.
Create your mantra. Your dream deserves a mantra, so come up with a tagline for your goal. Every time you get one step closer, move one step back or achieve that goal, chanting your tagline will motivate you to keep moving forward!
-Create a tagline that will help you conquer your nerves.
-Create 2nd Tagline that will address what you are really about. Big reason you are telling story.
Practice makes perfect: Practice telling your story. Whenever speaking in front of people you must be prepared and that takes practice. Practice brings confidence.
-Practicing in front of the mirror; record yourself doing it and observe how you progress over time.
-Practice in front of people that almost intimidate you; get all your kinks out on a small group.
Sharing Your Story with Confidence: Every story has a beginning, middle and an end.
-Frame the Story: Why are you telling the story? “I’m telling my story because I want people to know how having Diabetes has impacted my life.”
-Hook the listener: What happened? Engage the listener. “I was a healthy 7-year-old boy until one day at recess, I fainted playing soccer. An ambulance took me to the hospital. They told me I had Diabetes. I didn’t understand what that meant at first. Now I do. It’s a dangerous disease. Etc.”
-Paint a picture: What you are going through? What is your personal story about having diabetes? Give details.
-Slower is better.
-State your intention: What’s the moral of the story? What is your message? You set it up at beginning and that reiterate your point at the end.
-Be mindful of your body language and speech triggers: Are you fidgeting or avoiding eye contact? Saying “um” every other sentence? These are the most common mistakes presenters make that make them appear less confident. This is something you can work on in the mirror and in front of friends. We all have triggers when we’re nervous, it’s about identifying it and making a conscious effort to avoid it.