How To Say 'No' More (It's One Of The Secrets Of Successful People!)

Large Editorial Image


August 29, 2016

Earlier this summer, we told you about the benefits of saying ‘no’ more at work, and now comes evidence that the same rule applies to other aspects of your life, too. As we age, we tend to feel a natural inclination to do this more–in your teens and early twenties, saying ‘yes’ is our MO–yes, to friends, school, family and of course social obligations (go out on a Tuesday before exams? Why not!). FOMO is a very real thing, but saying “yes” to every opportunity that presents itself is the fastest way to burn out on life. As Warren Buffett put it, “The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything.”

So, if your goal is to be more discerning in life and to say ‘no’ more, follow these very simple tips:

Know the value of your time. Time is money, honey! You’ve heard the old adage, but what does it mean? It means that there a finite numbers of hour in each day, and the more of them you spend on activities that fulfill and enrich your life, the better off you’ll be. And I don’t mean monetarily–volunteering for a charity that you believe in, for example, is more valuable than other non-paid activities that don’t fulfill you. You should have a gut check for every activity you partake in–does it serve your soul? If not, find a way to opt out.

It’s also important to calculate your hourly wage to literally know how much you’re making at your job. If you’re working crazy hours at a job you hate, that high salary might not actually be worth what you think!

Cut out frenemies. As you age, you learn the value of ‘real friends’– the ones that help you move, give you a ride to to the airport, or just make you laugh when you need a good laugh. They pick up the phone when you call, they don’t backstab or betray you, they Like all your Instagram photos, they bring you soup when you’re sick, they keep in touch when you move far away. They don’t make grand gestures of friendship like buying lavish gifts, but instead provide consistent love and support over the years. Next time a fake friend invites you out to the bar, or to their bachelorette party, just say ‘no’. You’re doing it for all the wrong reasons (social climbing is a ladder that leads to nowhere). Cutting out frenemies will only yield positive results–trust me–you won’t miss them and you’ll get to spend that time with the people who deserve you.

Don’t give excuses. You don’t need to give an excuse every time you say ‘no.’ In fact, giving excuses is a slippery slope, because then the person can argue with your ‘reason’ for not being able to do something (Or you don’t have a ride? I’ll pick you up! Your grandma is sick? Bring her!). Be direct and honest with people–simply say ‘no’ and leave it at that. They won’t have anything to argue you on.

 



  • These Cute Bun Hairstyle Ideas Are Perfect For Mornings When There's No Time To Blow Dry

    These Cute Bun Hairstyle Ideas Are Perfect For Mornings When There's No Time To Blow Dry

    Beauty

    1 day

  • Nordstrom's Bestselling $19 Leggings Are Back In Stock--Grab A Few Pairs Before They Sell Out Again

    Nordstrom's Bestselling $19 Leggings Are Back In Stock--Grab A Few Pairs Before They Sell Out Again

    Style

    1 day

  • Weekend Project: Make Your Own Cleansing Facial Wipes

    Weekend Project: Make Your Own Cleansing Facial Wipes

    Beauty

    1 day

  • The One Hack That Will Forever Change The Way You Shop At Zara

    The One Hack That Will Forever Change The Way You Shop At Zara

    Style

    1 day

  • Hurry! This $39 Tunic Sweater Is Selling Like Crazy At Nordstrom Right Now

    Hurry! This $39 Tunic Sweater Is Selling Like Crazy At Nordstrom Right Now

    Style

    1 day

  • This Is The One Hand Cream You Absolutely, Positively <em>Need</em> For Winter...

    This Is The One Hand Cream You Absolutely, Positively Need For Winter...

    Beauty

    1 day

  • Nordstrom's Super Popular Peacoat Is Now Available In Red... And It's Only $37!

    Nordstrom's Super Popular Peacoat Is Now Available In Red... And It's Only $37!

    Style

    1 day

  • 5 Ways To DIY Eyelash Growth For Longer, Stronger Lashes

    5 Ways To DIY Eyelash Growth For Longer, Stronger Lashes

    Beauty

    1 day

  • Drop Everything - Here’s How To Win Free Lush Products RIGHT NOW

    Drop Everything - Here’s How To Win Free Lush Products RIGHT NOW

    Beauty

    2 days

  • Score A Gorgeous Leather Rebecca Minkoff Bag For Under $100 With Our Exclusive Promo Code

    Score A Gorgeous Leather Rebecca Minkoff Bag For Under $100 With Our Exclusive Promo Code

    Style

    2 days

  • Upgrade Your Fall Look With These Creative Ways To Wear A Scarf

    Upgrade Your Fall Look With These Creative Ways To Wear A Scarf

    Style

    2 days

  • It's Trench Coat Season! Shop The Best Styles For Fall RN

    It's Trench Coat Season! Shop The Best Styles For Fall RN

    Style

    2 days

  • 5 Beauty Products Sephora Can’t Keep In Stock Right Now

    5 Beauty Products Sephora Can’t Keep In Stock Right Now

    Beauty

    2 days

  • First Look! Check Out LG SIGNATURE's Stunning Collection On Display At Bloomingdale's

    First Look! Check Out LG SIGNATURE's Stunning Collection On Display At Bloomingdale's

    Style

    2 days

  • This Is The Best Maybelline Foundation For Oily Skin

    This Is The Best Maybelline Foundation For Oily Skin

    Beauty

    2 days

  • Chip & Joanna Gaines' Target Home Collection Just Made Your Holiday Shopping Super Easy

    Chip & Joanna Gaines' Target Home Collection Just Made Your Holiday Shopping Super Easy

    Celebrity

    3 days

  • Forever 21's Plus Size Line Just Got a Fabulous New Makeover

    Forever 21's Plus Size Line Just Got a Fabulous New Makeover

    Style

    3 days

  • A Beginner's Guide To Using Crystals To Relax & De-Stress #WellnessWednesday

    A Beginner's Guide To Using Crystals To Relax & De-Stress #WellnessWednesday

    3 days

  • 5 Target New Arrivals To Shop Before They Sell Out

    5 Target New Arrivals To Shop Before They Sell Out

    Style

    3 days

  • Here Are The Best iPhone X Cases For Every Kind Of Person

    Here Are The Best iPhone X Cases For Every Kind Of Person

    4 days

  • Get A Sneak Peek Of MAC's Holiday 2017 Collection (You're Going To Want It All!)

    Get A Sneak Peek Of MAC's Holiday 2017 Collection (You're Going To Want It All!)

    Beauty

    4 days

  • Here's Why Those Urban Decay Vault Combos Are TOTALLY Worth It

    Here's Why Those Urban Decay Vault Combos Are TOTALLY Worth It

    Beauty

    4 days

  • This Is The One Blouse You Need To Purchase For Fall

    This Is The One Blouse You Need To Purchase For Fall

    Style

    4 days

  • Once And For All, Here's How To Take Off Eyeliner Without Scrubbing Your Eyelids

    Once And For All, Here's How To Take Off Eyeliner Without Scrubbing Your Eyelids

    Style

    4 days

  • Sale Alert! The Best-Selling Tarte Shape Tape Concealers Are 25% Off Right Now

    Sale Alert! The Best-Selling Tarte Shape Tape Concealers Are 25% Off Right Now

    Beauty

    4 days

  • Use Our Exclusive Promo Code To Score The Best Rain Boots Ever For 20% Off

    Use Our Exclusive Promo Code To Score The Best Rain Boots Ever For 20% Off

    Style

    4 days

  • 5 Things You Need To Know About Nordstrom's Return Policy

    5 Things You Need To Know About Nordstrom's Return Policy

    Shop

    4 days

  • This eBay Hack Will Help You Get Some Serious $$ From Your Old Purses

    This eBay Hack Will Help You Get Some Serious $$ From Your Old Purses

    5 days

  • Drop Everything--These Are The New Launches Our Editors Are Shopping Now

    Expect To See A LOT Of This Hat In Your Social Feeds

    Shop

    5 days

  • Gift Alert! All The Beauty Products Our Editors Want This Year

    Gift Alert! All The Beauty Products Our Editors Want This Year

    Beauty

    5 days

  • These Are The Best Collaborations You <em>Need</em> To Know About Now

    Style Bloggers Love This 'Elevated Athleisure' Line That Dropped TODAY

    Shop

    5 days

  • Hold up -- Did Kendall Jenner Photoshop Her Latest Instagram Pic?

    Hold up -- Did Kendall Jenner Photoshop Her Latest Instagram Pic?

    Celebrity

    1 day

  • Target Booties Our Editors Love (And Are On Sale!)

    Target Booties Our Editors Love (And Are On Sale!)

    Style

    1 day

  • Are Gwen Stefani & Blake Shelton Having A Baby Together?!

    Are Gwen Stefani & Blake Shelton Having A Baby Together?!

    Celebrity

    1 day

  • The Best Coats Under $100 This Season

    The Best Coats Under $100 This Season

    Style

    1 day

  • What's In The Gigi x Maybelline East Coast Glam Collection? Here's Everything You Need To Know About Gigi Hadid's New Makeup Line

    What's In The Gigi x Maybelline East Coast Glam Collection? Here's Everything You Need To Know About Gigi Hadid's New Makeup Line

    Beauty

    1 day

  • Sophia Grace from Ellen Looks SO Different Now

    Sophia Grace from Ellen Looks SO Different Now

    Celebrity

    1 day

  • The One Drugstore Powder You Should Stop Using, According To A Dermatologist

    The One Drugstore Powder You Should Stop Using, According To A Dermatologist

    Beauty

    1 day

  • Everyone Thinks Joe Jonas And Sophie Turner Are Expecting & We're Freaking Out!

    Everyone Thinks Joe Jonas And Sophie Turner Are Expecting & We're Freaking Out!

    Celebrity

    2 days

  • 7 Things Every Fashion Girl Over 30 Never Wears

    7 Things Every Fashion Girl Over 30 Never Wears

    Style

    2 days

  • Um, Did Jennifer Aniston Not Realize Her Top Was Completely See-Through?

    Um, Did Jennifer Aniston Not Realize Her Top Was Completely See-Through?

    Celebrity

    2 days

  • The Ultimate Guide On What To Wear To An Office Holiday Party

    The Ultimate Guide On What To Wear To An Office Holiday Party

    Style

    2 days

  • The One Drugstore Cleanser You Should Stop Using, According To A Dermatologist

    The One Drugstore Cleanser You Should Stop Using, According To A Dermatologist

    Beauty

    2 days

  • 5 Pairs Of Leggings That Don’t Actually Look Like Leggings

    5 Pairs Of Leggings That Don’t Actually Look Like Leggings

    Style

    3 days

  • Your Ultimate Guide On What To Wear To Thanksgiving Dinner This Year

    Your Ultimate Guide On What To Wear To Thanksgiving Dinner This Year

    Style

    3 days

  • Ashton Kutcher Explains Why He'll Never, EVER Post Pictures Of His Kids

    Ashton Kutcher Explains Why He'll Never, EVER Post Pictures Of His Kids

    Celebrity

    3 days

  • Kylie Jenner Just Showed Off Her Baby Bump On Snapchat & Everyone's Freaking Out!

    Kylie Jenner Just Showed Off Her Baby Bump On Snapchat & Everyone's Freaking Out!

    Celebrity

    3 days

  • Move Over 'Damn Daniel,' Here's How To DIY A 'Ciao Ryan' Halloween Costume

    Move Over 'Damn Daniel,' Here's How To DIY A 'Ciao Ryan' Halloween Costume

    Style

    3 days

  • The One Drugstore Product You Should Use For Thinning Hair, According To A Dermatologist

    The One Drugstore Product You Should Use For Thinning Hair, According To A Dermatologist

    Beauty

    3 days

  • Here's How To Get The Sold Out Gigi x Maybelline Jetsetter Palette

    Here's How To Get The Sold Out Gigi x Maybelline Jetsetter Palette

    Beauty

    4 days

  • 5 Target Skincare Products With Incredible Reviews & Reputations

    5 Target Skincare Products With Incredible Reviews & Reputations

    Beauty

    4 days

  • This Nail Trend Is Really Tough--Literally! Shop Fingernail Rings Now.

    This Nail Trend Is Really Tough--Literally! Shop Fingernail Rings Now.

    Style

    4 days

  • How To DIY A Kendall Jenner Pepsi Commercial Halloween Costume This Year

    How To DIY A Kendall Jenner Pepsi Commercial Halloween Costume This Year

    Style

    4 days