Is It Possible to Love Your Second Kid As Much As Your First?

November 4, 2011 by Mom Jeanine
shefinds | Kids

Even though I’m not convinced it’s a good idea to try to be “friends” with your kids, in a lot of ways my daughter is like my best friend. I look forward to seeing her every day, celebrating milestones with her and simply talking to her. Sure, I’ve been called codependent, but I just think my daughter and I are very close.

That being said, when people ask if I want to have more children I always hesitate. And not because I don’t love being a mother. I do. But that’s just it. I love my daughter so much, I’m not sure it’s possible for me to love another kid as much as I love her.

I can already see the strain now that I’m in a relationship. I sometimes put my daughter’s feelings before my boyfriend’s; I even sometimes ask for time off with him so I can spend alone time with my little girl. If I were to add another kid into the mix, I hate to say it but he/she might get the short end of the stick because I’m already so attached to my daughter.

Closeness aside, though, I also think there are practical reasons why I’m more inclined to stick with just one child. The obvious reason, of course, is that it’s cheaper. But I also think I’d freak out a little if I had a boy. I’m so accustomed to raising a girl, if my second child were a boy I might be a little, teeny tiny bit disappointed. Another factor I always consider is whether or not I’m cut out to handle a baby and a toddler. I have my hands full with my 3-year-old, I’m not sure I’d have the energy to take care of two kids. And then of course, there’s that whole co-sleeping issue. There’s just not enough room in my bed for another kid.

Am I crazy? If you have a second child, do you really love him/her as much as the first? Weigh in in the comments.

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