X

Enter to win a FREE
Magnetight Mask
from Dr. Brandt!

*By entering to win, you agree to receive future emails from Dr. Brandt.

Just Because I Didn't ______, Doesn't Mean I'm a Bad Mom

Large Editorial Image


January 12, 2012

Remember the birth announcement for Blue Ivy? It’s such a throwback now, but I remember it like it was yesterday–probably because I found it to be so offensive. Beyonce and Jay-Z’s publicist said: “She was delivered naturally at a healthy 7 lbs.”

Okay–so what exactly is an unnatural birth? One via C-section? One that involves an epidural?

I’d like to think Beyonce didn’t choose this particular phrasing to assert some kind of superiority, but let’s be honest: moms are judgy. We’ve all experienced some sort of guilt trip because we didn’t do something the “right” way. But at the end of the day, if your kid is happy and healthy, does it really matter if you had an epidural or only dressed him/her in organic clothes? Probably not.

So before your next playdate with the judgy mom on the block, read these 10 reminders and commit them to memory. Just because you didn’t _____, doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom.

1. Breastfeed until your kid was 5. Or at all. Yes doctors agree that breastfeeding is the best option, but it’s not the only option. So if, for whatever reason, you didn’t breastfeed your kid, don’t get down on yourself. It’s not like you were starving your baby, after all. And countless formula babies have grown up to be perfectly healthy, smart, contributing members of society.

2. Have a “natural” birth. The idea of someone else’s birth being more natural than someone else’s has always irked me. Why does it matter if I had an epidural or a C-section? The baby came from my body and that’s what’s natural.

3. Let my baby cry it out. My daughter is 3 and she still sleeps with me, so yeah, I wasn’t into that whole crying it out business. And just because she isn’t sleeping in her own bed, doesn’t mean she’s maladjusted or developmentally delayed. She’ll make it to her own bed when we’re ready, hopefully minus all those nights of crying.

4. Obey the “No TV before 2” rule. My daughter doesn’t watch a lot of TV, but she definitely knew who Dora the Explorer was before her second birthday. But she can also count to 100, write all of her letters and numbers, spell her name and recite her telephone number. And hey, she knows a ton of Spanish too and Dora gets all the credit for that.

5. Dress your baby organics exclusively. Because before organic cotton and bamboo became all the rage, babies were perfectly fine wearing just plain ol’ cotton.

6. Sign your kid up for every class at the YMCA. The way I see it, my daughter has her whole life to learn ballet and play the piano. Heck, if she wants to get into college her teenage life will be consumed by these activities. So for now, while she’s still so young, it’s perfectly fine by me to enjoy simple fun at the playground or around the house with her.

7. Quit your job to be a SAHM. Although it is easy to sometimes envy moms who don’t have to deal with the guilt of leaving their kids every day, it’s also pretty nice to have a built in break even if it is in the form of work. And that doesn’t make you a bad mom. It’s actually probably beneficial for your kid to see that moms sometimes have to work, too.

8. Start feeding my kid only the healthiest, most organic, free-range food out there. You know what? Your kid won’t instantly develop a laundry list of medical issues from eating McDonald’s or non-organic fruits and vegetables every once in a while. Trust me–I asked my pediatrician.

9. Stay in a relationship that made you unhappy. Sure, two parents under the same roof is ideal, but not if 1 or both of those parents is miserable. Simple as that.

10. Move to the ‘burbs. There are endless reasons why raising kids in the suburbs is better, but staying in the city has its advantages. Culture, diversity, no need for a car? Those are just a few reason your kid will be better for growing up in the city.

Have any others to add? What have you been judged about? Share in the comments.

Sign up for our newsletter to get even more finds delivered right to your inbox.

Click here to email Jeanine, the author of this post.

[Photo: Shutterstock]

 



  • Target Casually Just Dropped 2 NEW BRANDS This Morning

    Target Casually Just Dropped 2 NEW BRANDS This Morning

    Beauty

    today

  • Once And For All, These Are The Best Leggings To Work Out In (And They're Only $25!)

    Once And For All, These Are The Best Leggings To Work Out In (And They're Only $25!)

    Style

    today

  • FYI, This $9 Top Looks Good On Every Woman--Get One In Every Color ASAP

    FYI, This $9 Top Looks Good On Every Woman--Get One In Every Color ASAP

    Style

    today

  • Psst! Nordstrom Has <em>The Best</em> Fleece Lined Tights... And They're Only $15

    Psst! Nordstrom Has The Best Fleece Lined Tights... And They're Only $15

    Style

    today

  • Every Wine Lover Needs This $19 Accessory

    Every Wine Lover Needs This $19 Accessory

    Shop

    1 day

  • The One Piece Of Jewelry Every Cool Girl Wants For Valentine’s Day

    The One Piece Of Jewelry Every Cool Girl Wants For Valentine’s Day

    1 day

  • Weekend Project: Make Your Own DIY Face Mask

    Weekend Project: Make Your Own DIY Face Mask

    Shop

    2 days

  • Nordstrom's Bestselling $27 Tunic Is Back In Stock--Grab One Quick Before It Sells Out Again

    Nordstrom's Bestselling $27 Tunic Is Back In Stock--Grab One Quick Before It Sells Out Again

    Style

    2 days

  • These Genius Packing Cubes Are A Game-Changer

    These Genius Packing Cubes Are A Game-Changer

    Shop

    2 days

  • These Are The Best Sites That Give You Cash Or Store Credit For New And Lightly-Worn Clothes

    These Are The Best Sites That Give You Cash Or Store Credit For New And Lightly-Worn Clothes

    Style

    2 days

  • Target Just Added 11 New Products To Your Favorite Brand This Morning

    Target Just Added 11 New Products To Your Favorite Brand This Morning

    Beauty

    2 days

  • Shoppers Can't Stop Raving About This All-In-One Home Security System

    Shoppers Can't Stop Raving About This All-In-One Home Security System

    Shop

    2 days

  • The 5 Best Stress-Relieving Items That You NEED In Your Life--From Fidget Spinners To Stress Balls.

    The 5 Best Stress-Relieving Items That You NEED In Your Life--From Fidget Spinners To Stress Balls.

    2 days

  • Forever 21 Is Making This Big Change To Its Stores

    Forever 21 Is Making This Big Change To Its Stores

    Beauty

    2 days

  • These Are The Best Collaborations You <em>Need</em> To Know About Now

    LeSportsac Just Launched An Adorable Collab With Hershey's

    Shop

    2 days

  • Here's How To Wear Metallic Booties Like A Style Blogger

    Here's How To Wear Metallic Booties Like A Style Blogger

    Shop

    3 days

  • 8 Galentine's Day Gifts That Are Perfect For The Lady Love In Your Life

    8 Galentine's Day Gifts That Are Perfect For The Lady Love In Your Life

    Style

    3 days

  • The One Dress That Looks Good On Everyone, According To Fashion Experts

    The One Dress That Looks Good On Everyone, According To Fashion Experts

    Style

    3 days

  • Target Just Casually Launched Its First Fragrance Line This Morning

    Target Just Casually Launched Its First Fragrance Line This Morning

    Beauty

    3 days

  • We Just Found The Most Amazing Pair Of Fleece Leggings Ever... And They're Only $19!

    We Just Found The Most Amazing Pair Of Fleece Leggings Ever... And They're Only $19!

    Style

    3 days

  • Psst! These Gorgeous (Waterproof!) Suede SOREL Booties Are 50% Off Right Now

    Psst! These Gorgeous (Waterproof!) Suede SOREL Booties Are 50% Off Right Now

    Style

    3 days

  • boohoo Is Having An <em>Epic</em> Sweater Sale Right Now--Prices Start At Just $16 With Our Exclusive Promo Code

    boohoo Is Having An Epic Sweater Sale Right Now--Prices Start At Just $16 With Our Exclusive Promo Code

    Style

    3 days

  • Beauty Pick Of The Week: Why I'm Obsessed Over The Too Faced Sweet Peach Eyeshadow Palette

    Beauty Pick Of The Week: Why I'm Obsessed Over The Too Faced Sweet Peach Eyeshadow Palette

    Beauty

    3 days

  • This Is The Most-Searched Fashion Trend Of 2017 (It's Not What You Think!)

    This Is The Most-Searched Fashion Trend Of 2017 (It's Not What You Think!)

    4 days

  • How Does Amazon's No-Rush Shipping Rewards Work? Here's Everything You Need To Know!

    How Does Amazon's No-Rush Shipping Rewards Work? Here's Everything You Need To Know!

    Shop

    4 days

  • Where To Buy Those Tiny Sunglasses Everyone Will Be Wearing In 2018

    Where To Buy Those Tiny Sunglasses Everyone Will Be Wearing In 2018

    4 days

  • 4 Skincare Products People With Clear Skin Always Use

    4 Skincare Products People With Clear Skin Always Use

    Beauty

    4 days

  • These Apps Will Help You Keep Your New Year's Resolutions #WellnessWednesday

    These Apps Will Help You Keep Your New Year's Resolutions #WellnessWednesday

    4 days

  • These Are The Best Leggings Ever (& They're Not See-Through!)

    These Are The Best Leggings Ever (& They're Not See-Through!)

    Style

    4 days

  • Here's Your Complete Guide To Sulfate-Free Beauty Products

    Here's Your Complete Guide To Sulfate-Free Beauty Products

    Beauty

    4 days

  • Here's Everything You Need to Know About Jade Rolling, The Hottest New Beauty Craze

    Here's Everything You Need to Know About Jade Rolling, The Hottest New Beauty Craze

    Beauty

    4 days

  • The Real Reason Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Got Divorced

    The Real Reason Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Got Divorced

    Celebrity

    1 day

  • The One Drugstore Product No One Should Be Using Anymore, According To A Dermatologist

    The One Drugstore Product No One Should Be Using Anymore, According To A Dermatologist

    Beauty

    1 day

  • 5 Common Mistakes That Are Making Your Hair Thin, According To Experts

    5 Common Mistakes That Are Making Your Hair Thin, According To Experts

    Beauty

    2 days

  • 3 Cheap Products For Blackheads That Dermatologists Swear By

    3 Cheap Products For Blackheads That Dermatologists Swear By

    Beauty

    2 days

  • Um, How Bella Hadid Not Have A Wardrobe Malfunction In This See-Through Top?

    Um, How Bella Hadid Not Have A Wardrobe Malfunction In This See-Through Top?

    Celebrity

    2 days

  • 3 Fenty Beauty Killawatt Freestyle Highlighter Dupes That Are Just As Great As The Original

    3 Fenty Beauty Killawatt Freestyle Highlighter Dupes That Are Just As Great As The Original

    Beauty

    2 days

  • This Is The Worst Thing To Put On A Zit, According To A Dermatologist

    This Is The Worst Thing To Put On A Zit, According To A Dermatologist

    Beauty

    2 days

  • Scott Disick's New Girlfriend Is Trying Really Hard To Be Kourtney Kardashian

    Scott Disick's New Girlfriend Is Trying Really Hard To Be Kourtney Kardashian

    Celebrity

    2 days

  • 6 At-Home Remedies For Sagging Skin Dermatologists Swear By

    6 At-Home Remedies For Sagging Skin Dermatologists Swear By

    Beauty

    3 days

  • 5 Cheap Under-Eye Products Dermatologists Swear By

    5 Cheap Under-Eye Products Dermatologists Swear By

    Beauty

    3 days

  • 5 Cheap Natural Skin-Firming Products Dermatologists Swear By

    5 Cheap Natural Skin-Firming Products Dermatologists Swear By

    Beauty

    3 days

  • 4 Bedtime Mistakes That Are Ruining Your Skin, According Dermatologists

    4 Bedtime Mistakes That Are Ruining Your Skin, According Dermatologists

    Beauty

    3 days

  • This Clue Finally Proves That Kylie Jenner Is Pregnant

    This Clue Finally Proves That Kylie Jenner Is Pregnant

    Celebrity

    3 days

  • Um, What Was Kendall Jenner Thinking When She Wore This Outfit?

    Um, What Was Kendall Jenner Thinking When She Wore This Outfit?

    Celebrity

    3 days

  • Scarlett Johansson’s Got A New Boyfriend… And You’ve Definitely Seen Him Before

    Scarlett Johansson’s Got A New Boyfriend… And You’ve Definitely Seen Him Before

    Celebrity

    3 days

  • The One Cheap Natural Product Dermatologists Swear By For Blackheads

    The One Cheap Natural Product Dermatologists Swear By For Blackheads

    Beauty

    4 days

  • 5 Anti-Inflammatory Foods Experts Swear By To Look 10 Years Younger

    5 Anti-Inflammatory Foods Experts Swear By To Look 10 Years Younger

    Beauty

    4 days

  • 5 Cheap Natural Eye Creams Dermatologists Swear By For Under-Eye Bags

    5 Cheap Natural Eye Creams Dermatologists Swear By For Under-Eye Bags

    Beauty

    4 days

  • Um, Where Is Chrissy Teigen's Baby Bump?

    Um, Where Is Chrissy Teigen's Baby Bump?

    Celebrity

    4 days

  • Whoa! Are Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth MARRIED?!

    Whoa! Are Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth MARRIED?!

    Celebrity

    4 days

  • 4 Supplements You Should Take For Hair Loss, According To Dermatologists

    4 Supplements You Should Take For Hair Loss, According To Dermatologists

    Beauty

    4 days

  • Kylie Jenner Just Made The Most Amazing Announcement Ever & We're Freaking Out!

    Kylie Jenner Just Made The Most Amazing Announcement Ever & We're Freaking Out!

    Celebrity

    4 days