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Pacifiers Grow Into Lollipops... And More of the Crazy Lies We Tell Our Children

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June 21, 2011

I couldn’t help but laugh last week as I read Constance Marie’s blog over on People.com. The topic was ordinary enough–getting your kid to give up the paci–but her method was a little, umm, unusual. Apparently, she planted her daughter’s pacifiers and they grew into lollipops.

I never gave my daughter a pacifier so I’m no expert on weaning, but I have to say that is one of the craziest parenting lies I’ve heard yet. Pacifiers plus dirt and water equals lollipops? I’m sorry, that is so bizarre.

As I thought about it, though, we all tell our kids crazy stories to get them to do what we want. The tooth fairy and Santa Claus are really just the tip of the iceberg. I tell my daughter that if she drinks her milk and eats her vegetables, her boo-boos will heal quicker. I’ve also convinced her that if she pees in her Dora panties, Dora will go away forever.

Reading the lies like that makes me feel horrible, but I’m also positive I’m not the only parent who comes up with far-fetched stories to get their kid to act right. So dish! What incredible lies do you tell your kids?

I asked some of my favorite moms from around the Web and here are a few of their whoppers:


Farah from MOMfinds lies, “My daughter hates dinosaurs so when I have to leave her at home and she starts to complain I tell her that I’m going to feed dinosaurs. I ask her if she wants to come with me and she’ll quickly say no and end of complaining.”

Nicole from Momtrends lies, “The doorman knows Santa Claus and gives him everyone’s master key to deliver toys.”

Alicia from Mommy Delicious lies, “My son overheard me talking to someone about being pregnant and having a baby in her stomach. When he asked me about how the baby got there, I said she swallowed it. Now he thinks that if I swallow a baby, I’ll be pregnant. And if HE swallows a baby, he’ll be pregnant.”

Victoria from VeepVeep lies, “The stork brought you to us.”

Your turn! Share the funny lies you’ve told your kids in the comments.

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Click here to email Jeanine, the author of this post.

 



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