Category: Most Worrisome Symptom of Bad Taste-itis
Winner: Cate Blanchett
Why: Dear Cate,
Remember that time right after I saw Oscar and Lucinda for the first time and I promised that I would always love you, no matter what, because anything you did was clearly going to be awesome and wonderful and perfectly right? And then you got more famous and managed not to turn into a bulimic heroin addict, and instead just made movies and then wandered around on red carpets looking amazing in all kind of unusual yet clearly fashion-forward dresses, and I totally renewed my vows to you because it became clearer and clearer that even winning an Academy Award in a dress the color of rancid butter was not going to stop you looking fabulous?
You’re beginning to test my devotion to your fashion awesomeness, Cate. I worry. This dress looks suspiciously like a high school prom photo (and judging by those shoes, it probably is).
It’s not the top half of the dress, which is adorably retro and shows off your collarbones; in fact, I wish a dozen other starlets would realize this sort of neckline is alluring without being trashy. It’s just…your rear view is no place for giant lace mantillas, Cate, and you know it.
Come back to your fashion senses, Cate, and look at the mirror before you leave the house. Women everywhere are depending on you.
AVOID this look: Don’t be afraid of the even hemline; they’re made that way for a reason. Donning a hemline that’s longer in the back throws your knees and calves immediately into focus, and if it doesn’t work for the willowy Cate, the rest of us don’t have a chance. If you feel the call of the asymmetric hemline, try a different angle. A diagonal hemline slenderizes and adds the sort of drapey movement that will make a walk to the pharmacy feel like a red carpet.