It was just announced that the heiress is set to launch her own clothing line this fall. No doubt this new position was rightfully earned, backed by her several years of hard work, and passionate dedication to the art of fashion design.
(fictional account of Paris Hiltonâ€™s first pre-launch interview about her new clothing line)
Reporter: Hello, Ms. Hilton, Iâ€™m so excited to hear about your new line, weâ€™re all just dying of curiosity andâ€¦
Paris: Iâ€™m Paris.
Reporter: Yes, of course you are-
Paris: Ms. sounds ugly. Iâ€™m pretty. Iâ€™m Paris.
Reporter: My sincere apologies. Now Paris, what inspired you to become a designer.
Paris: Iâ€™ve already done every other job that requires a gorgeous blond spokeshottie. Iâ€™ve accomplished my goal of being an actress/model/singer/author/reality TV star/ perfume creator/porn star. I want to express myself creatively through fashion. Iâ€™m creative. Iâ€™m Paris.
Reporter: Right. So how do you think your previous experience has prepared you for a career as a designer?
Paris: I know what itâ€™s like to be sexy and famous and have people take your picture all the time. And I get invited everywhere. Also, I’m an icon.
Reporter: I see, and how has all this developed your personal aesthetic as a designer?
Paris: My what? My ass? Well, I do pilates sometimes, but pretty much Iâ€™m just lucky to have a perfect body, Iâ€¦
Reporter: Iâ€™m sorry, not your ass, your aesthetic, your personal vision for fashion?
Paris: (blank stare)
Reporter: What appeals to you, what do you like, what turns you on about clothes?
Paris: My publicist told me not to answer questions like that anymore, or to have sex on camera.
Reporter: I meant about style. What are your stylistic influences?
Paris: Ohhhh, I get it. Pink. And Tinkerbell. And being hot. Thatâ€™s hot.
Reporter: Thatâ€™s last season (mutters)
Paris: What? Did you say something?
Paris: It must be my Treo. Maybe Linds is better!
Reporter: So, who do you see yourself designing for, wearing your clothes?
Paris: Anyone whose hot. And who has fun. And is sweet. Iâ€™m sweet.
Reporter: Do you think that parents want their teenage daughters to emulate you, and be hot and sexy?
Reporter: So you think that your line will be popular, and succesfull, even though many celebrity lines arenâ€™t doing so well, including your sister Nickyâ€™s?
Reporter: Why? what sets you apart? makes your line special?
Paris: Iâ€™m Paris
Reporter: Anything else?
Paris: Hilton. Iâ€™m Paris Hilton.
In related news about overindulged blondes, Bachelor reject Erica Rose has created a new line of tiaras, T-Erica, set to debut at the end of January.
I smell a partnership, and it smells like oil and Rick Salomon.