The 5 Guys You’ll Meet On Tinder
August 25, 2015
Ahh, good ol’ Tinder. The infamous dating app we all love to hate. Personally, I liked Tinder, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. Why? Because it requires zero skills and you’re always guaranteed a catch. For those of you that may be new to the “sport,” I’ve listed 5 guys that you’re guaranteed to hook. If he’s not your “flavor,” throw him back… there’s plenty of fish in the sea!
1. The Mystery Man
Are you lazy or just ugly? I’m going to assume the latter seeing this app is primarily based on looks. For those of you that have a questionable profile picture, let me fill you in on a few facts that may improve your Tinder game. Tinder has over 50 million daily users and approximately 20 million daily matches. Shocking, I know. So if you want to “stand out” from my next swipe, I’d highly suggest you step your game up. Ditch the baby pictures, and act like a man. A guy who can’t take the time, isn’t worth your time.
2 The “Showoff” Guy
This guy thinks he’s the next Drake, but really he’s just a Verizon Sales Rep.
You know who I’m talking about… This guy posts his super cool club selfies, bathroom selfies, and let’s not forget the selfies of him posing next to some stranger’s BMW! Yeah, that guy! As annoying as he may be, this guy gets matches, and a lot of them. Why? Because at a quick glance he “looks “ rich and has nice teeth. Sad but true. Ladies, if you come across this guy, please note that you are more than likely 1 of 50 matches he’s had in the past hour. Sadly, that doesn’t really leave you a lot of time, now does it?
3. The Nice Guy
This guy really does want to find a nice girl, however his honesty and persistence can often be misconstrued as weakness and vulnerability. Our nice guy is more than likely divorced, perpetually single or just too busy to date. Nonetheless, he’s on Tinder to meet someone special. Hmmm, isn’t that the same reason the you joined …remember? Give your fingers a rest and give the nice guys a chance.
4. The Sexter Guy
This guy cuts right to the chase and leaves little to the imagination. He’s often quoted saying crude phrases like: “DTF? or texting you at 2:00AM with “Wanna meet up?” Either way, I’m not interested. This creep only uses Tinder for his personal satisfaction. Plain and simple. Swipe left, block him, do whatever you need to do to keep your positive options open.
5. The Artsy Guy
This guy has always been an immediate left swipe for me. Why? Because he uses Tinder as his diary, and frankly I don’t have time for that. He’s the guy with the cheesy tag lines, thought provoking pics of himself gazing out onto the horizon and an about me section that includes: rollerblading, cats and his favorite comic books. Fun! For some, this guy may be a breathe of fresh air, but for me I choose to share my inner feelings with my therapist, not on Tinder.