Some of you may be reading this and thinking, “Why should there be rules to texting? You should be able to follow your instincts and let things happen naturally.” I agree, but without guidance, this “go with the flow” concept has proven to be more damaging than helpful. The truth is, with the wrong opening text you can end up shutting the door before it even opens, so to speak.
By following my do’s and don’ts your chances of actually building a relationship are greater than just taking your friend’s advice (who is probably single herself, I might add!). Here are my expert tips:
1. Do Know Who You’re Texting.: Sounds simple right? Well, you’re right it is. However, for some unfortunate reason there are few “players” out there still having trouble keeping their baes’ names in check. Tip: If you want even a remote chance with me, try saving my name as “Ashley Tinder or even “Ashley Brunette.” I’m fine with that, just don’t confuse me with “Allison Hinge.” I don’t respond well to “Hey Ali.” This shouldn’t be difficult fellas, and if it is….keep swiping.
2. DON’T Use Too Many Emojis: We GET IT you’re going to the gym, no need for the excessive muscle flexes. Take It easy Hercules.
3. DO Spice Up The Conversation: And no, I’m not referring to sending over your X rated slideshow. Spice up the conversation by adding a little humor. Don’t be afraid to let your guard down. Make sure you stand out from the other dozen swipes he had this weekend. However, if you’re not funny, (and you know who you are) don’t try to be funny. It never works. It’s painful to read and causes for 2nd hand embarrassment on both ends. Toss over a compliment instead, those always work and never get old.
4. DON’T Use Abbreviations ALL THE TIME: Why? Because they’re annoying and juvenile. You have a full keyboard. Just type words.
5. DO Use Spell Check: I beg you, please use it. That’s why it’s there, for God sake.
6. Don’t Be “That Crazy Girl”: “It’s been 8 hours sinceI hear from him!! Where is he? Maybe he doesn’t like me anymore? Maybe I said something wrong? Maybe he went back to his ex girlfriend?” Okay, cool your jets sista, he was sleeping. Yes, that’s right he didn’t answer your 5 consecutive texts because he wasn’t awake. Maybe you should chill out and try taking a little snooze yourself.
7. DO Turn Off Your READ Receipts: If you’re in the beginning stages of a “relationship,” this small tip will save your sanity. As many of you know, one of the most annoying stages of dating is the “waiting game.” We all hate it, so why dwell in it. Save yourself AND your friends hours of whining and just turn it off. Trust me, you’ll get a response…eventually.
8. DON’T Text Novels: Pick up the damn phone and dial! On the other hand, why don’t you just keep your lengthy rants for your diary. Thanks.
9. DO Ditch Gender Rules: It’s 2015, grow up.. This is why you’re still single.
10. DON’T Follow The 3-Day Rule: Why? Because the concept is ridiculous. Why 3 days? Why not 2? This rule makes zero sense to me. If I want to talk to you, I’ll text. If I want to see you, I’ll plan a date. Dating is hard enough, don’t complicate it with more questions.