What Is 'Benching'? Everything You Need To Know About The New Dating Trend

June 15, 2016 by Caroline Pirozzolo
shefinds | Style

Benching: no, it doesn’t just apply to that one guy on the sports team who never plays–and it’s even been declared the new ghosting. So what exactly is “benching?”

Essentially, benching is the halfway point between ghosting someone and actually dating them. It’s the practice of not necessarily cutting ties completely with someone, but instead keeping in touch with them just enough in case you might want to date them in the future. Benching often appears in the form of sporadic texts and dates made only to be cancelled one or two days before.

Basically, it’s putting someone on the proverbial “bench” of the dating world, so to speak.

Benching is the dating behavior you’ve probably been doing without really realizing it. We’ve all had those people we’ve dated who we’ve been perpetually unsure about no matter how many times we see them. Maybe they seem great on paper, but the spark wasn’t there, or maybe you weren’t ready for a relationship just yet, but think you might want to date them down the road.

In many ways, benching makes sense. Why be rude and completely ignore someone if there’s a chance you may want to stay friends or date later? At least there are no hard feelings, unlike with the drastic move of ghosting.

On the flip side, that person you only hear from occasionally when they text a picture of a cute French Bulldog puppy they saw on the street or likes your random, 2-week-old Instagram photo? You’re probably being benched. The one who you’re not really even sure exists anymore because they have cancelled so many of your plans together? Also a major symptom of benching.

And if you’re the one being benched? Sorry, but they are probably just not that into you. As Beyonce would say, “Tell him boy, bye,” and find someone who’s completely invested in getting to know you.

For more dating and relationships advice, don’t miss: 5 Mistakes Stubborn People Make In Relationships and What Your Zodiac Sign Says About Your Dating Habits.

[Photo: Shutterstock]

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