You got the perfect proposal, but the ring—not so much. If you’re not madly in love with your engagement ring, don’t panic. Follow these simple steps to make sure you get the ring you want without hurting your future groom’s feelings.
Don’t say anything right away. The focus at the proposal should be saying yes to your life together—not the ring. So don’t bring it up while your man is still on one knee. Just enjoy getting engaged and sharing the news with family and friends.
Figure out what you don’t like. Were you hoping for rose gold instead of white? Did you want emerald cut instead of round? Is vintage more your style, but he chose a modern setting? Figure out exactly what it is that you don’t like about the ring–it might be an easy fix for a jeweler to simply take the center stone and put it in a setting you prefer.
Be nice. Your future groom likely spent a lot of thought (and money) on this ring, so don’t make him feel bad that he got it wrong. Simply explain that while it’s a beautiful ring, it’s not quite your style. And since he spent his hard-earned money on it, it should be something you love and will want to wear for years to come.
Call the jeweler ASAP. Most jewelers will offer an exchange, but within a certain time-frame. So call the store right away and let them know you’re coming in to look at other rings or talk about changing the place setting. And make sure you go with your fiancé so he still feels like he’s a part of the ring selection process.
Tread carefully with heirlooms. If this is his mom or grandmother’s ring, there are other feelings at play here. Again, the jeweler might be able to take the stones and make them work in another setting, but you want to make sure it’s okay with the rest of the family for you to alter this heirloom.
Don’t ask for more. Your fiancé picked out a ring that was in his price range. Asking for a bigger stone or more diamonds will only put financial pressure on him and make him feel bad about what he can’t afford. If you want to exchange the ring, it should be for a different style–not for a flashier bauble.
Consider living with it. If the jeweler won’t offer an exchange or change the setting without a fee, consider keeping the ring. It might grow on you, or you might be able to make it more your style with the wedding band you choose later on.
[Photo: Samm Blake]