My daughter is 3-years-old, which means I am currently in the throes of preschool admissions. And yes, it is miserable.
Here in NYC, preschool admission to public school isn’t guaranteed, so you have to explore other avenues just in case. I already went through the private school admissions process, but decided the $30,000/year price tag was just too much to swallow this year. We’re now awaiting the placement decision from the public school system and if that fails, I’ll have to look into community organizations that offer preschool. All in all, it’s a nightmare, a constant source of stress and just so unpleasant.
But little did I know, it could be worse. How? Apparently there is a preschool here in NYC that requires DNA tests for admission. Oh yes, you read that right. Maury Povich-style DNA tests!
The logic behind it? The Porsafillo Preschool Academy–the school that requires the test–is looking for genetic markers that indicate future intelligence, confidence and other leadership traits.
Part of me is actually okay with these DNA tests… in theory. Right now, preschool admissions in New York aren’t based on much more than luck, connections and total randomness, so why not add semblance of actual merit? Sure, her DNA is beyond my control, but it’s better than “your 2-year-old didn’t perform in playgroup as well as the other kids.”
But then the mother in me just thinks this is absolutely crazy. DNA test my 3-year-old? I’m sorry, but HELL NO! I don’t know you and if you’d like to get to know me or my child, I’d prefer you have a conversation with us, not examine my genetic history.
Believe it or not, this school gets upwards of 12,000 applications for just 32 spots so there are some parents out there who obviously don’t mind the DNA test. Crazy expensive tuition aside, would you ever allow a school to DNA test your child for admission? Share your thoughts on this admissions policy in the comments.
UPDATE: April Fool’s!
Sorry it’s late, but too good to resist. And way better than these.
Sign up for our newsletter to get even more finds delivered right to your inbox.
Click here to email Jeanine, the author of this post