You Are Not Alone: The 10 Most Common Bride Problems (They Plague Us ALL)
September 10, 2012
When wedding frustrations hit, it’s human nature to want to vent. Sometimes it’s to our friends, other times it’s on social media. But social media and a frustrated bride are two entities that should never meet. By it’s very nature your friends and family will see who and what you’re angry about, and that can lead to an awkward moment of inadvertantly offending one of your guests.
Before you starting ranting about how the world is conspiring against you and your wedding, take a deep breath. Then check out our list about how to deal with the 10 most common bridal frustrations, from RSVPs to in-law drama.
If you do feel the need to rant, do so on one of your wedding forums. At least there you’re under an alias.
1. Guests who don’t RSVP: If there is one universal frustration with brides, this is it. Even though wedding invitations tend to be larger and more colorful than most mail people get, they often get ignored.
It’s not that your family and friends don’t love you enough to respond promptly, they just forget, especially since invitations are sent out over a month in advance. It’s normal to have to call people if they haven’t RSVP’d by the date you ask them to. More than likely your space cadet guest will feel guilty about not responding promptly.
2. People wanting to bring Plus 1’s: It’s funny how guests think that at a party where there may be over 200 people that they won’t have anyone to talk to. But that’s pretty much the mentality behind the guests who ask to bring a plus-1, even though they weren’t invited with one. They’re afraid of being alone. (Aren’t we all?)
Instead of being guilted into giving in to every request, simply tell them that the budget or the space won’t allow you to add extra guests, and they just need to understand. This is not a lie. Every extra guest is an expense. Not letting someone bring a guest won’t stop them from coming to your event, so no need to worry about that.
3. Staying within the budget: There are plenty of ways to spend a million dollars on a wedding and there are a lot of ways to spend a whole lots less. Yes, it’s the most important day of your life, but still, it’s a party. That said, a solid DJ can be a whole lot better than a mediocre band. An elegant buffet will please picky eaters, and no one will complain about a rubbery chicken sit down meal.
The best weddings aren’t the ones that cost the most, they’re the ones where everyone has an amazing time. It’s okay to cut a corner on say, invitations or favors, as long as the party is hoppin’. Check our list of bad wedding ideas if you worry you’re moving into dicey territory to save a few dollars.
4. Worrying about fitting into your dress: Pre-wedding diets are common. It’s not just about fitting into the dress, it’s about looking great, at every angle, since you will be photographed no less than one million times on your wedding day.
Even if you’re stressed, don’t let yourself inhale a box of Little Debbie snacks. Instead, make sure you are exercising regularly. Not only will that burn off extra calories should you fall face first into a large pizza, but the endorphins will keep you calm and happy. You may even find that you have some wiggle room in the dress on the big day.
5. Vendor drama: A few years ago I went to a wedding where — quite literally — everything that could have gone wrong, did. It started out as an oppressively humid day which, naturally, led to monsoon-level rain during the ceremony and the reception. Not good news for a bride who picked a location specifically because it was on the beach. The band got into a car accident en route to the reception so cocktail hour last two and a half hours while the wedding planner frantically called DJ friends to see if one was available. Eventually someone hooked an iPod up the the intercom system and got the party started.
The bride is always the last person to bother when something goes wrong. That said, give vendors a list of people to call in case there is confusion or delays. Preferably this is not someone who will be in the bridal suite or salon with you. If you can have a day-of wedding planner, even better. Realistically, though, if something goes wrong, you’ll be the last know — if you ever do.
6. High maintenance guests: Even though there was a insert — in English — in the invitations that explained hotels and parking, you keep getting phone calls and e-mails about where people should stay. Others wonder if there will be child care or if they can get a vegetarian meal. Annoying wedding guests come in all shapes and sizes. We’ve already decoded them for you.
Sometimes adults don’t act like adults. They need a little hand holding. As the bride, you have a lot other details to attend to, and can’t worry if Aunt Alice can get a rental car at the airport. If you worry you may get salty towards these guests, ask your fiance or another family diplomat to deal with them.
7. Unwanted input from outsiders, such as in-laws: When it comes to planning a wedding, sometimes there are too many chiefs and not enough indians. A good trick is to listen attentively and politely to input, acknowledge you’ll consider it, and then promptly forget about it. As the bride you have the best vision for the day, and realistically most people are just trying to be helpful when they make suggestions.
8. Groom not being active in the planning. (He pretty much thinks he just needs to show up): Obviously he shouldn’t come pick out your dress with you, but the groom does need to be front and center for other activities. He probably won’t care about color schemes and flowers, but he may want a hand in picking out the menu or the cake. Lure him out of his man cave with the promise of food. Or music! Encourage him to express his opinion while picking the band or DJ.
If there are physical tasks that need to be done, such as stuffing envelopes or filling gift bags, bribe him with the booze or food of his choice. It’s cliche, only because it almost always works.
9. The seating chart: You want to make sure everyone has a good time, but ironing out a seating chart can be your last — and biggest — headache. Some tables are easy to fill, others will obviously look like a singles table or leftover tables. Above all, remember that the tables are there for dinner and the toast. With any luck people won’t be sitting in them all night — they’ll be dancing! While it’s important to put like-minded people together, no one will be eternally offended if there are a few randoms sitting with them. They can make new friends!
10. You worry you’ll trip when coming down the aisle or while making your grand entrance: Despite what the internet tells you, this is not as common as one might think. If you have a history of being a klutz, practice walking in your wedding shoes around the house. That should lower the chances of any wedding day spills.