Since When Did "You Don't Look Pregnant" Become Offensive?

September 6, 2011 by Mom Jeanine
shefinds | Kids

Over the weekend I got the chance to catch up with lots of my family that I hadn’t seen in a while, including my cousin who is expecting a baby early next year. Of course, all we could talk about was babies when we saw each other. She did the requisite baby bump debut and at 4 months she’s still pretty teeny. She’s not even wearing maternity clothes yet. So I say to her, “You look great! You don’t even look pregnant.”

Big mistake. Or so I was told after the fact. I don’t think my cousin said anything, but when we left my mother said “You never tell a pregnant woman she doesn’t look pregnant. It hurts.” Huh?

Obviously I know there’s a baby cooking in there–I saw the sonogram pictures. But my cousin has always been naturally thin and she’s still pretty svelte considering she’s with child. When I said you don’t look pregnant, I wasn’t questioning whether she was, I was simply commenting on how good she looked.

Same with Hilary Duff in the pic above. I know she’s pregnant, but the truth is she doesn’t look it. I’m not saying that to be mean or rude, because she looks good. Just not pregnant yet.

My mother and I don’t always see eye to eye, so what do you think? I don’t mean to be insensitive, but am I missing something? Is it offensive or hurtful to tell a pregnant woman she doesn’t look pregnant or can it be complimentary? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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