My whole life I was the girl with no tush. When all of my friends were starting to get boobs and curves, I stayed as straight as a string bean. They all got to start shopping in the ladies department, while I was still stuck at Abercrombie Kids, barely filling out jeans in a size 14. I know, you probably want to kill me because it sounds like I’m complaining about being thin, but that’s so not the case. I’m extremely grateful for being blessed with good genes, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t envy girls with butts, since barely having one means constant sagging in the backside region of your jeans—I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more unattractive than saggy butt. My friends used to tell me that it looked like I was wearing a baby diaper (picture a baby running around in a really full diaper—it gets saggy in the back). They didn’t think it was a big deal to poke fun at me (thankfully I have a thick skin), because I was the skinny one, so who cares, but as they got to shop for Sevens and AGs, I was still shopping at the Limited Too (remember that one?).
It was only when I was a junior in college that I discovered jeans that were made for me. I was browsing around Bergdorfs, seeing what was what, when I noticed a pair of acid washed Rag & Bone jeans (they look a little like these). My first reaction was to not even bother trying them on, since I’d likely be let down, but after contemplating for two more seconds, I was like, what the heck, I’ve got time. So I grabbed my size and headed for the fitting room.
Magic. My tush totally filled out the back of the jeans. They were perfectly tight, and even gave me the illusion of having some junk in the trunk. I couldn’t believe my eyes, but what I saw in the rear mirror of the fitting room was a real tush, and I was ecstatic. It didn’t matter what they cost, I’d live on eggs and bread for a month, but I had to have them. It was the first time in twenty years that I looked sexy in a pair of jeans. No more diaper butt, these were the real deal. I ran to the register, paid, and off I was.
I’ve been wearing those same jeans ever since, only it’s been almost eight years, so you’d think that they were really worn out, but they still fit like a glove. And anytime that I’m in the market for a tight pair of jeans, I go straight for the Rag & Bones. They’ve never let me down—the cut is the same as it was eight years ago, and the quality is better than ever. I own four pairs now, three skinny (these are my current faves), and one flare, and I get complimented all the time.
So girls with no butts, go forth. Get yourself of pair of Rag & Bone jeans. They’re worth every penny.
And yes, that is my butt.