"Auntie Kris! It's me! It's Todd Kraines!"
Khloe: "Scott, your whole ass is out!" Scott: "I'm finally a Kardashian!"
"You don't respect my religion. I don't respect your outfit."
"I can't take pictures with commoners."
Kourtney: "So I took it [pregnancy test] and it said I might be pregnant." Scott: "There's a 'might' symbol?"
Scott Disick having a shake
"I didn't buy the piano to play it, I bought it because it looks nice."
"Isn't it funny to think, like, little old grandmas that can barely walk could have been, like, real big whores at one time?"
Scott (to Kourtney): "You look like a little Columbian drug lord's wife. And I like that."
"You guys lose your butts, we may all lose our money."
Kim: "Oh look, someone sent us a free yoga membership." Scott: "Thank god. You wouldn't have been able to afford it."
"Kim is running all over my house in a little red wig and she honestly looks like Chucky."
Kris: "I think my favorite day of this last year was probably the day when Oprah came over." Scott: "Not the day when Penelope was born? You heartless wench."
Scott's last words to Kim before her third wedding, "You know what to do."
"Yeah but the hood loves me."
Kim: "I'm so annoyed, I got this stroller and I'm trying to put it together." Scott: "The good news is, once the baby comes, that's when it gets so much easier." Kim: "Really?" Scott: "NO!!!!!"
"Lord Disick, bitch."
