This is the ultimate how-to of the how-tos. We’ve either been there, or hope that we won’t have to be there, but telling your friend you don’t like her beau, boyf, bae – whatever she chooses to call him – is really freakin’ hard. It’s like telling someone they have food stuck in their teeth – you need to tell them something is wrong, and you’re just trying to help, but it could be offensive… well, it’s kind of like telling someone that they have food stuck in their teeth?
Regardless, we figured out the best, most considerate way to tell your friend that you don’t like her less-than boyfriend. How you might ask?! Well, you just need to approach the situation from a loving, non-judgmental way.
So if you think you’re BFF’s BF isn’t deserving enough to have your amazing friend, here’s the best way to tell her that you think she needs to re-evaluate and re-consider her relationship.
1) Ask questions. Ask your best friend some open-ended questions, just to see what’s on her mind. Ask about her feelings, how she thinks it’s going, fun things they’ve done… By asking her questions about her relationship, you’re making her think about different aspects that she may not have thought about before. Make sure not to ask them in a negative way, just ask in an open, curious way.
2) Share! People love relating to others, so if you share stories about annoying things your boyfriend has done in the past, she may feel more comfortable sharing some less-than-perfect moments with hers. Making yourself vulnerable will help her open up!
3) Reassurance. Reassure your BFF that you’re there, no. matter. what. Just say that you wanted to check in, see how things are going, and happy you got to catch up! Don’t put too much pressure on the conversation, just make sure she knows you were happy to hear about her life.
4) Leave it. Leave the conversation as it ended. You never want to over-prod or just look like your fishing for gossip. If you end the conversation where it naturally stopped, your friend will know that your conversation was genuine.
5) Wait it out. If your friend wants to talk more, she’ll know that you’re there for her. Knowing that you guys have this great friendship, she’ll come talk to you about any issues she’s having when she’s ready.
6) Rip the band-aid. If it’s gotten to the point where you’ve talked to your friend a lot about it, and she just isn’t realizing it on her own, it might come time for you to tell her yourself that you think she can do better. Make sure you phrase it in an “I’m-only-looking-out-for-you” type of way and hope for the best!
Just remember, there are sides of relationships that are “secret” – you never really know the connection between two people, so if your friend isn’t budging, cross your fingers that she’s right!
Make sure to check out These On-Screen BFFs Who Are Best Friends In Real Life and Perfect Gifts For Your Best Friend