There are a few golden nuggets of plus size advice out there, but most of it is laughably bad. In fact, if it was up to some style magazines and websites, every plus size woman would live in a black dress the size of a tent – prints, brights and stripes be damned.
We know those tips couldn’t be more off base. Whether you’re plus or straight size, fashion is about what works best with your shape and style, not following an arbitrary set of rules or obsessing over a dress size. #Duh.
Even though we know it’s complete nonsense, we had to compile a list of the worst tips we’ve read for plus size shoppers just for laughs. Humor yourself with 7 pieces of advice no stylish plus woman would ever follow.
1. Wear dark colors.
According to 3 Fat Chicks, neon should be avoided at all costs. Bright yellow? Shop in the other direction. They suggest darker clothes for “slimming” purposes but we’re all about accentuating, not hiding curves. That means we’ll be buying that fire-engine red pencil skirt, thank you very much.
2. Don’t leave your house without a belt!
Redbook Magazine says a belt is a plus size woman’s go-to accessory and yes, the wider, the better. That way, even though you’ll look like you’re suffocating, atleast you’ll appear like you have a thin waist! #Sideeye
3. Avoid skinny jeans.
We’re a little confused by the logic in this tip from Article Biz as skinny jeans can be flattering on women of all sizes. Did they think, by virtue of the name, skinny jeans are only for skinny women? Even worse, they suggest straight leg jeans as the plus size woman’s only option.
4. Avoid too much jewelry.
Yes, this was really printed on Wiki How. Apparently, layered necklaces are a plus size fashion faux paux. What in the world does jewelry have to do with dressing for your size? Somebody please answer us.
5. Big arms? You better wear sleeves.
The rest of the world can go sleeveless but not plus size women, if you heed the advice in this crude article on Yahoo. The writer even offers an advantage to having to wear sleeves all the time: atleast you won’t need sunblock cream for your arms, she says. Thanks?
6. Put layers in your hair to avoid looking bigger than you are.
A new haircut is magical for every woman but for some reason, Wiki How thinks plus size women desperately need layers in their hair. You know, to look smaller. We love a layered cut just like the next gal but is it relevant to dressing for your size or shape? Absolutely not.
7. Accessorize for your size.
Not only do plus size women need layers in their hair and limited jewelry according to these media outlets, they also must be selective when choosing accessories. People StyleWatch advises adjustable necklaces for large necks, open bracelets for wide wrists and bags with long straps for broad shoulders. Apparently, standard bangles, chain necklaces and handbags don’t work for women over a Size 14 in their world.