Valerie Bertinelli shared a heartfelt throwback picture of herself with late ex-husband Eddie Van Halen on October 6th, marking the sixth anniversary of his death. But what should have been a touching tribute soon turned into something much more controversial, as the actress found herself defending her continued love for the late rocker.
The Hot in Cleveland alum, who was married to Van Halen from 1981 until their 2007 divorce, revealed that she has faced criticism for expressing her love for him on social media before, and had therefore come to expect it this time too. But in a follow-up video that same day, she likened the repeated criticism to coercive control and insisted that she won’t let the negativity bother her anymore. Keep reading for more details…
View this post on Instagram
Valerie Bertinelli Hits Back At Critics After Sharing Eddie Van Halen Tribute
“Photos may fade, like old photos do, but not the memories and never the love,” Bertinelli captioned the throwback picture of herself and Van Halen, who passed away in 2020 at the age of 65.
Just a few hours later, the 66-year-old One Day at a Time actress returned to Instagram with a video addressing the “pushback” she said she had anticipated receiving. She captioned the video: “Strap in haters, let’s go for a little ride.”
Wearing a white pinstripe shirt and glasses as she filmed herself outdoors, Bertinelli explained: “It does not take long for me to get a lot of pushback when I post a picture of me and Ed. It used to really bother me. It does not, not any longer.”
View this post on Instagram
The Enough Already author went on to discuss coercive control, explaining that people who have experienced it would understand what she was about to say. “So they’ll never quite say the words, ‘You’re not allowed to love your ex-husband, that’s ridiculous. You can’t love him.’ No, they won’t quite say that, but they will berate you and berate you for months, make you think you’re crazy until you finally say, ‘Okay, fine, I don’t love him,'” she explained.
Bertinelli went on to explain how being repeatedly called “obsessed” and subjected to criticism could pressure someone into removing family pictures, including those featuring her late ex-husband and their son Wolfgang Van Halen. She likened this behavior to coercive control.
“Coercive control is insidious and it’s soul-breaking, and I cannot believe that I [expletive] fell for it,” she said, adding: “You can’t tell me how I feel. Nobody can tell you how you feel.”
“My heart can hold a lot of love,” she explained, before describing how Eddie, Wolfgang, her daughter-in-law, and her other loved ones all have a special place in her heart. She also insisted that if she ever falls in love again, there will be room for that person too, without diminishing the love she already has for others. “So you can’t bother me. I love Ed, I’ll never stop loving Ed. And my heart loves a lot. Don’t you wish yours could too?” she concluded.
Women Are Swapping Their Boring Water For This Ice Pop Electrolyte Mix!
Valerie Bertinelli Has Previously Opened Up About Her Love For Eddie Van Halen
This is far from the first time Bertinelli has spoken about her enduring love for her former husband, despite their divorce. Back in May, the actress opened up to People about their complicated relationship and the special place Van Halen will always have in her heart.
"I can't help but love the man. I went through so much with him, and I'm so grateful for the last year that we had. There'll always be a huge part of my heart that contains Ed. He gave me the greatest gift, our son," she said. "Would we have ever been intimate together again? I really don't think so. But I've never loved another man the way I loved Ed. And that's just the way it is," she added.
And in August 2025, the Bingo Blitz host shared another emotional tribute to the legendary guitarist, reflecting on how much she missed having him around to celebrate their son's achievements. "Some days I really do miss you," she wrote alongside a throwback picture of them together, before opening up about the special bond they shared as Wolfgang's parents.
"Who do I yap to when there was really only one person I could talk to about Wolfie the way that we did?" Bertinelli asked, adding: "The pride we both felt. Still feel."
Fans Defend Valerie Bertinelli Following Her Emotional Video
Many fans rushed to Bertinelli's defense in the comments section of her video, praising her for speaking openly about her feelings and refusing to let the criticism silence her.
"Love you so much Valerie. You are so strong and such an inspiration," wrote one fan, followed by a red heart and clapping emoji. "Valerie don't EVER take the picture down, don't apologize for how you feel or what you do! It doesn't matter to anyone but you!" encouraged a second.
"You created an amazing life and amazing son with Ed. We grew up watching you guys. Grateful for the example you gave us. And also it was heartbreaking to see you guys hurting so much. We love you Val! Glad you're not bowing to the controllers," commented a third.
"Val, you are one in a million. You are a light and by sharing moments such as this, you help guide people. We need more of this in the world," praised a fourth, as a fifth chimed in: "You love him… you were married… you had a kid… you moved on but the love remained just different. So glad it never turned to hate."
"It's crazy people are so opinionated," remarked a sixth, as a seventh raved: "Love your big heart! You do have so much room!"
