16 Cosmetics Names That Horrify Us, From Mildew To Funeral Home

July 28, 2010 by carla
shefinds | beauty

The recent drama over Rodarte’s Mexico-inspired MAC line has us thinking. In case you missed it, there was an outrage over  the ‘Juarez’ and ‘Factory’ nail polishes, because as The Frisky puts it: “Juarez is an impoverished Mexican factory town notorious for the number of women who have been raped and murdered there.” Not the best choice for  a shimmery pink.

What’s even more ridiculous is how many other ill-advised, offensive, and just plain gross beauty names are out there. Juarez is certainly not the first or last – check out some other atrocious names we found (and feel free to leave your own):

Although OPI’s own Mexico-inspired nail polish line is pretty clean, their Hong Kong Collection is questionable. The borderline stereotypical Chop-Sticking to My Story ($2.65) and A Good Man-Darin Is Hard to Find ($4.73) names leave us feeling like an elder relative just used an out-of-date term at the dinner table. Just awkward.

In the sexually explicit category, Essie’s After Sex , Over the Knee and Sugar Daddy are winners (or losers?). They’re not horrible… until your boss or mother innocently ask what nail polish color you are wearing.

Imagine someone asking you what scent you’re wearing and confidently replying Funeral Home. Way to bring down the room. Or how about Turpentine or Condensed Milk – all actual scents by the demented folks at Demeter.

Speaking of something fishy, Demeter’s Lobster scent should go perfectly with Essie’s Clam Bake – which conjures up images of stinky fish, not the ocean (if that’s what they were going for). Would you like some drawn butter with your beauty regimen?

The nastiest names we’ve heard come courtesy of Urban Decay (whose makeup I love, btw). There’s something about applying an eyeshadow called  Roach (a mauve-brown) or Mildew (a puke green) or Stalker (pretty purple) that just seems wrong.

Finish it off with a liner – Urban Decay’s bright blue Deviant, and all that’s left to do is spray a few squirts of Demeter’s Dirt and you’re ready for a night on the town.

Read up on more beauty finds starting with our favorite waterproof makeup and our favorite drugstore makeup finds. Also check out our favorite scents for summer.


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