It can be stressful being in a wedding. You’re happy for your friend, but then again you want to keep some time and money to yourself. Add in a contstant flow of alcohol, and it becomes the perfect storm for fifty shades of cray.
It’s natural to get a little stabby in the role of a bridesmaid, but sometimes it’s hard to tell if you’ve completely gone over the edge. Take our quiz to find out if your behavior is normal, or if your bridesmaid privledges should be revoked.
Did you politely oooh and aahh at her ring, or did you blurt out, “Come on! That’s the one I wanted!”
Did you get blackout drunk at her engagement party?
Did you insinuate that you had the groom first?
Were you late to the dress fitting?
Did you complain about the dress? (Color, fit, price)
Did you suggest that the bride had no right to wear white?
Did you complain about having to buy the dress when you can rent perfectly nice ones online these days?
Did you try to pay with a check?
Did you suggest going to Medieval Times for the bachelorette party?
Did you go home early?
Did you try to cover the bride in plastic penises, even though she overtly said she did not want them?
How many mimosas did you have at the bridal shower?
Did you hide behind a relative when they were looking for someone to take notes on the gifts?
Did you get her something off the registry, or did you dig something out of the discount bin at T.J. Maxx?
Is there a chance that in a bellini-filled haze, you told your whole life story to one of the bride’s second cousins, whom you had never met before that afternoon?
Did you even bother to get your dress altered?
Did you take pictures with your iPhone during the ceremony?
Were those tears of joy for the couple, or for yourself for never having to spend another cent on the wedding?
Are you sure that it was “Mazel Tov!” you yelled when the groom stomped on the glass, and not a Hebrew expletive?
Did you try to cut in during their first dance?
Did your toast mention ex-boyfriends or Spring Break in Cabo?
Did you keep requesting The Electric Slide, even though the DJ told you that was on the Do Not Play list?
Did you try to start a conga line?
Did you eat other people’s cake when they weren’t at their table?
Did you only post unflattering, shiny photos of the bride on Facebook? Tagged, of course.
Did you send a gift? Even 364 days after the wedding?
Give yourself one point for every Yes answer.
0- 8: You are a saint, the Mother Theresa of bridesmaid. You will be the girl holding up the bride’s dress while she pees before the ceremony. Bless you.
7 -16: Room for improvement. Read a few issues of Martha Stewart Weddings and get in touch with your inner bride.
16 or more: Do you even know the bride? You’re either a the world’s worst friend or fantastic fodder for a slapstick buddy movie.
[Photo Credit: Maria Vicencio Photography]