While the bride and groom are the centers of attention on the wedding day, both sets of parents are also in the spotlight at this special event.
Mom and dad will probably want to help with the planning–and possibly–the paying portion of your special day. And, not to mention the important roles they’ll play during the ceremony and reception. But there are a few things they shouldn’t do when it comes to the wedding, so be sure to show them these seven “don’ts” before you even send out the save the dates:
1. Constantly Bringing Up Money
Tommy Waters of The Renaissance says that parents should stop bringing up who's paying for what.
"A happy couple's big-day plans can go south quickly by a reminder of who is paying for the food, or the facility, or the linens," he says. "Trust me, they will always be thinking about this and they will always be worried about it. Be savvy about this, why not schedule a little time with the couple a few times throughout the planning period to go over budget."
2. Monopolizing the Guest List
Parents should vow to keep the focus of the wedding solely on the couple without exception, says Paula Ramirez of Historic Mankin Mansion.
"Inviting old friends that have never met the wedded-to-be duo is a huge no-no. Instead, allow the couple to choose their own guest list," she says. "After all, surrounding them with life-long loved-ones in celebration is what it's all about!"
3. Wear White
The mother of the bride and the groom should not wear white unless asked to, says Alicia Lapriore, Senior Catering Manager & Wedding Expert at Fairmont Copley Plaza in Boston. We totally agree with this one!
4. Make It All About Them
Parents often get swept away in the wedding planning and forget it's about the bride and groom. "Be happy for your son or daughter and don’t try to steal the show," says Lapriore.
5. Disrespect You Fiancé's Family
If your son or daughter are marrying someone from a different class than you, please respect their choice and treat the other family in good manners, says Nahid Farhoud of Nahid’s Global Events.
"Do not look down at them and treat them like they are nobody. Your son or daughter will be living with their partner for the rest of their lives and you do not want to leave a sour taste in their mouth. Please be kind and remember it is two families joining each other not just two people. Don't make your children run away from you."
Blended families and divorced parents often still hold some animosity toward each other and have some lingering stress from the wedding prep and planning, says Sarah Schmirl of Make it Posh.
"Add a few drinks and those feelings of being slighted and anger toward each other start bubbling up to the surface," she says. "If you have qualms with your spouse or ex regarding how much--or little--they contributed to the wedding, address that after the event."
7. Make An Embarrassing Speech
Try to avoid the embarrassing stories of your child during any speeches--their future in-laws do not need to know everything, says Lapriore.
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