Being a bridesmaid can be a very pricey commitment. You've got the dress, the bachelorette, the shower, the gifts, the travel costs... it really adds up. But just because you've agreed to be a bridesmaid doesn't mean you've agreed to pay for *everything*. Some aspects of the bridesmaids duties should not be paid for by the bridesmaids themselves. What are they? >>
[Photo: Style Me Pretty]
1. Wedding day hair and makeup if the bride is requiring it. If the bride is requiring the bridesmaids to get their hair and makeup professionally done for the big day, they can't expect them to pay for it. It's a pretty big expense, $200+, and the bride shouldn't make her maids eat that cost just because she wants them to look a certain way in photos. If she doesn't want to pay, she should let them do their own makeup.
[Photo: Style Me Pretty]
2. Specific wedding day accessories. Ditto for asking them to pay for specific accessories, like shoes, jewelry, pashmina scarves, clutch bags, etc. If the bride is asking her girls to wear something in addition to their dress, she should pay for it. The extra expenses really add up, and again, if the bride is doing it so that the girls look a certain way, it's the right thing to do to gift them the item.
[Photo: Style Me Pretty]
3. Bridesmaid dresses over $400. It's common for the bridesmaids to buy their own dresses--they get to keep them after the wedding, afterall--but if the bride is demanding that they wear a really pricey style, then it's up to her to pay. Anything over $400 should definitely come out of the bride's pocket--that's a lot to ask your bridesmaids to pony up for YOUR wedding, and certainly not something everyone can afford.
[Photo: Style Me Pretty]
4. A mandatory, group gift. If one bridesmaid has the idea to give a group gift to the bride, all bridesmaids don't have to pay. Group gifts are a good idea in theory (you can get them something BIG), but it's not reasonable to make someone spend more than they would have wanted on a gift. Gifts should be personal. It's up to the gift giver to determine how much they want to spend and what they want to give.
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5. An over-the-top bridal shower. Bridesmaids don't necessarily need to incur the cost of the bridal shower, either. Ideally, the mother, mother-in-law or other close relatives will throw the shower because they are more established and can afford a big special event for the bride. Additionally, the bridesmaids usually chip in for the bachelorette, so two pre-weddings is a lot. If the bridesmaids are hosting the shower, it's not an anything-goes-situation. No free puppies or champagne towers or fondu fountains. A modest, cost-friendly shower is appropriate if the bridesmaids are all chipping in.
[Photo: Style Me Pretty]
6. An over-the-top bachelorette. If the bridesmaids are contributing for the bachelorette, the same rule applies. The festivities should not be lavish. The bridesmaids should not contribute equally if they cannot afford it. If the bridesmaids are chipping in, cost should be a major consideration.
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7. Luxe wedding hotel accommodations. If the bride wants her bridesmaids to stay with her the night before the wedding, and the hotel she's picked is *really* pricey, then she should foot the bill. Every guest at the wedding, including the bridesmaids, has the right to pick the cheapest hotel to stay in.
[Photo: Style Me Pretty]
8. The rehearsal dinner or other wedding-related meals (brunch, etc). If the bridesmaids are invited to wedding weekend meals like the rehearsal dinner or Sunday brunch, they should not have to pay for any part of it (including the booze).
[Photo: Style Me Pretty]
