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What better time to express your undying love and commitment to one another than at your wedding ceremony? As more and more couples are choosing to write their own vows, here are some tips to make sure your words aren’t totally lame.
1. Get on the same page. While you don’t want to give away too much about what you’re going to say, you should still have a convo with your spouse about what you’re comfortable with him revealing in the vows, the tone (he might want to do a mini standup routine, while you want something more heartfelt) and more. You don’t want to be control freak about it, but it’s always best to make sure you’re not going to be completely embarrassed up there either.
2. Think about what makes your relationship special. Every couple is unique, so to make sure your vows don’t sound generic, try to include some short tidbits about what makes your relationship so special, like your mutual obsession with The Walking Dead or that you’re both thrill seekers who love a good adrenaline rush.
3. Don’t include clichés. Just like certain wedding readings have been overused, there are some phrases that sound so cliché that they come off a bit fake. “You’re the love of my life,” “You’re my knight in shining armor,” “Life began the moment I met you.” They might all be true, but they’re still cliché.
4. Write a few versions. All writers will tell you they go through a few (or many) rough drafts to get it just right, so be prepared to craft a few versions of your vows. You might want to even run the final version by a trusted friend or family member.
5. Avoid anything embarrassing. Although you might think that certain stories about your groom are hilarious–like the super mushy nicknames you’ve given one another–you don’t want to risk embarrassing your future spouse in front of a room filled with people who can repeat that info time and time again.
6. Look at other vows for inspiration. Search online for examples for sayings, poems, song lyrics, etc. that can serve as inspo while you’re writing your vows.
7. Keep it short. If you have a lot to express, consider writing your groom a nice, long love letter. But for the wedding, try to keep the vows short and sweet. You don’t want to bore your guests with your declarations of love and risk the ceremony running too long.
Fore more wedding advice, check out how to give the perfect wedding toast and who pays for what at a destination wedding.
