25 Last Names It's Ok Not To Take As A Married Woman

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April 13, 2012

(Most) men never have to make the difficult decision of whether or not to change their name, but for brides it’s a remarkably real and occasionally unfortunate decision to make. What if your first name is Amanda and his last is Huggenkiss? Okay, Simpsons jokes aside, this is a real issue. Many women feel de-valued by having to give up their own surnames, or just worry about the professional implications of doing so — while some are just worried about becoming Mrs. Richard Butts. These are real issues, people.

Here’s your get-out-of-jail-free pass: if your man is sporting any of these last names, you’re home free. It’s socially acceptable (and recommended) to keep your own:

Weiner

Hitler

Dickman

Cox

Butts

Ball

Spunkmeyer

Hooker

Focker

Greathead

Highcock

Buttram 

Titsman

Donner

Grossman

Stroker

Buttafuoco

Morehead

Manson

Wang

Bush

Dinkle

Ho

Dangle

Pugh

These are all names taken from the actual U.S. census (or some sketchy junk site of it). Ladies, you have two choices – brace yourself for a lifetime of raised eyebrows and dirty joke set-ups, or  just keep your last name already! It is 2012 and ladies can do stuff now. Like keep “Smith” and “Jones” as their last names.

*Editors’ note: we are sincerely sorry if you’re offended by this list, or if YOUR last name is mentioned above. No, we’re really sorry. 

 

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